Karma
by Shennyhater666
Summary: Fate has a way of working out.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N I am borrowing these characters again. I know I am working on other stories, but this one wanted to be started.**

Penny looked out the window of the Hotel d'Angleterre in Geneva. When she had discovered her latest picture was to be partly shot in Switzerland, she was excited. But when they told her it was to be an action movie concerning the Large Hadron Collider, it had brought back memories she had long fought to suppress.

She turned back from the window and opened a bottle of wine provided by the studio. Taking a sip, she sat down on the couch and let her mind go back. She had to smile when she remembered Leonard coming to her apartment with a supply of items having something to do with Switzerland. She had been thrilled when she learned where they were going. But like so much with Leonard, it just didn't quite work out. She did have to smirk when she remembered how Raj raved about the trip when he came back, saying how romantic it was, apparently because of all the things Leonard had prepared for him and her.

Ironically, it was another Scandanavian country where it appeared everything had finally come together, when Amy and Sheldon received their Nobel Prize. But the aura of good feelings had proved to just be an illusion, an oasis in a merciless desert.

It had started soon afterwards when Sheldon began to regret his speech. The press quickly fell in love with the good feelings and wrote more about the friendships and love between he and Amy then about their accomplishment, his accomplishment.

They quickly adopted Amy as their heroine, they resurrected the story of the Doctor of Neurobiology who solved the mysteries of physics. Sheldon felt again he had become a side note.

Even worse from his point of view was how Amy had changed. Her new hairdo, her new attire, had made her a different woman, one who no longer endured Sheldon's antics.

Then, there was her and Leonard. Just three weeks after the ceremony, she had a miscarriage and lost the baby. She hadn't realized until then how much she had wanted it, had wanted to give Leonard what he so desperately desired.

She had failed him again. She couldn't even keep a baby alive. Then she had a horrible thought, she had not wanted to have a baby, it had been an accident. Deep down, is this what she wanted to happen, did she cause it to occur?

She realized she wanted to have Leonard be angry, hold her responsible. But of course he was loving and understanding, always there for her, hiding what she knew had to be his disappointment in her.

The final straw was when he tried to console her by saying they could try again. God, what did he need to understand it was not meant to be? How many babies did he want her to kill? He just didn't understand.

Soon, everything he did began to grate on her. She began to find ways to avoid him. She began to have headaches, to find excuses not to have sex with him. She just felt so worthless. And poor, sweet, Leonard, he just didn't know what to do. He just did all he knew how to do, try to love her more, knowing he was somehow to blame, that he didn't love her enough.

He just couldn't understand and she didn't know how to explain to him that the more he loved her, the more she felt unworthy of it.

Finally, she needed to do something to show him that she did not deserve his love, that he needed to finally admit she was not what he needed.

So, she had a one-nighter with a guy she picked up at a bar. She had to smirk to herself, she couldn't even remember his name. When she told Leonard, he finally was hurt and angry. It appeared she had finally got through to him, that they were just not to be, that he could do better.

But it didn't last, he soon forgave her and told her how much he loved her and that he knew she loved him.

He almost made her believe it. That they could be happy, that they were right for each other. After all, she did love him. And when she let herself be with him, the sex was wonderful. But then she knew she just couldn't do it. She would just continue to hurt him. How could she love him like he deserved when she didn't love herself? When the more he loved her the more she felt less worthy of it?

Then, one night, when she had been drinking heavily, she got Sheldon drunk as well. Then she flattered him, and told him how Amy didn't deserve him, that she was accepting accolades that belonged to him. That he needed to hurt her, to show her that he didn't need her. Thankfully, Sheldon rejected her completely, but he told Amy.

Well, that apparently was too much even for Leonard. He finally became the accuser, telling her what she was, how much she had hurt him, how much she had hurt Amy.

Leonard moved out and they were divorced within six months. As for Sheldon and Amy, it actually helped bring them closer, Amy rightly directing her anger at Penny, who welcomed it as her due.

Ironically, all of this had led to a major breakthrough in Penny's career. She told her agent she was ready to try again and when a small part in an independent movie became available, she took it. As it turned out, the character was a vessel for her to let out all the self-loathing she felt for herself.

The critics raved at her performance, many saying she had made her scene the highlight of the movie. Suddenly, offers came in. It turned out she was a damn good actress, and her looks didn't hurt either. In her third movie she was nominated for an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. She didn't win but her career skyrocketed. Three years after that first life-changing role, she won an Oscar for Best Actress.

As far as men, she played the field, never letting anyone get too close.

A knock on the door roused her from her reverie. Crossing over, she found out it was her producer, Warren Fredericks. She let him in and returned to the couch. He poured himself a drink and came over to sit with her.

"Everything's set. We have arranged to be able to shoot scenes at the Collider. We are limited to seven hours a day for five days. It will be a tight schedule so everyone will have to be at the top of their game. We can't afford any delays."

Penny nodded. Once again she couldn't avoid thinking of how she almost had seen it a long time ago. For a moment, she wondered if it would have made any difference in the long run if she had been able to go.

Warren had continued, "We have also arranged for a scientist to be our advisor on the picture. The staff at the collider is just too busy to spare someone, but they recommended several scientists from the States. We were really surprised when It turned out one of them checked the box that said he had once met you."

Penny sat up.

"Since they were all about equal in their qualifications and we didn't have much time to decide, we went ahead and picked him. His name is Dr. Leonard Hofstadter. Do you have any idea where he knows you from?"

Penny couldn't stop herself from laughing.

When Warren looked questioningly at her, she smiled and said, "Actually, I was married to him once."

Warren was shocked. He realized he had heard she had once been married but that was about it. He quickly said, "We obviously didn't know. We can get out of the contract; do you want someone else?"

Penny was about to say yes when she surprised herself by saying, "No, that's all right. Might be interesting to see him again after all this time."

"If you're sure. This won't cause any problems, will it? Like I said, we are on a tight schedule."

She reassured him, "No. He is someone I know about. He's a genius and will be very diligent and hard-working."

Leonard was surprised when Dr. Reynolds told him that scientists at the Collider had given his name to a film team that was going to film a movie using the Collider as a part of the plot. They had apparently recommended him as a possible Science Advisor.

Thinking that would be something interesting to do, he started to fill out the form. He was completely shocked when he realized Penny was to be the star of the picture. He had thought he would never see her again. Like all the guys he had been amazed at her rise to stardom. It seemed that was her destiny after all. Maybe he had held her back.

He had to smirk when he saw a question if he had ever met her. He guessed he could safely check that one.

In spite of himself he allowed his mind to drift back to deal with memories that were best forgotten.

It all seemed to start when Penny lost the baby. They both had been crushed, but instead of them coming together to grieve and console each other, Penny started to drift away. When he discussed it with her doctor, he was told she was probably experiencing guilt. Leonard tried as best he could to let her know it wasn't her fault, that he loved her and was there for her. Instead of helping, it seemed to somehow make things worse. Looking back, he wondered if he should have shown more of how upset he was, of how it hurt him, but he had thought he should be strong for her.

The harder he tried to understand, to be what she needed, he seemed to be driving her farther away. After it was all over, he decided he had tried too hard, had repeated the mistake he had made when she said she didn't love him. He should have given her time alone. He had again succumbed to his fear of losing her. And again he had caused the action he was trying so hard to prevent. Maybe everyone had been right, they were just not meant to be.

When she cheated on him, he was hurt but saw it as a cry for help. But probably by that time it was too late. He had driven her away. Then, when she tried to seduce Sheldon, even he knew it was over. He could stand her hurting him, but when she felt the need to threaten to break up Sheldon and Amy, he knew they needed to part; that they were just causing each other pain. He finally had to accept his love for her was not what she needed or wanted.

In the years since, he had concentrated on his work. As for Amy and Sheldon, they grew closer. He was relieved because he felt he was partly responsible for what happened. Now they had a little boy and were a happy family.

As for him, he had a few instances of possible serious relationships, but his heart really wasn't in any of them. It wasn't that he harbored any ideas of ever getting back with Penny, it was just that none of them were Penny.

He was thrilled and happy as he followed her career, knowing she finally was living the life she wanted to live. He went to all her pictures, amazed at how talented she was. He smirked to himself, he always had to fight the temptation to tell those near him in the movies that he had once been married to her.

Leonard had been stunned when they had chosen him to be the advisor. Now he found himself waiting in the lobby for Penny to arrive. When he talked to the producer, he had made sure that Penny knew he was the one that was doing the job. He didn't want to cause her any problems. He probably should have turned it down, but he was far too weak to do that. He really wanted to see her again.

He saw them come through the door. Although he had seen her in all her movies, he was stunned how beautiful she still was in person. For a moment, the years slid way and he remembered how he and Sheldon saw her that first time in her apartment.

When he saw the director wave him over, he took a breath and started across the room.

It was their first day to shoot at the Collider. They had just entered the building when she saw him. He hadn't changed at all. As usual when he was dressed up, he looked very handsome and impressive. Her director motioned to him and called out, "Dr. Hofstadter."

She saw him hesitate and then head for them. When he reached them, he met her eyes.

The director spoke up, "Dr. Hofstadter, this is Miss Penny Lawrence. Penny, this is Dr. Leonard Hofstadter, who will be assisting us as science advisor."

Penny smiled, "We've met. Hey, Leonard, it's good to see you again, it's been a while."

Leonard showed the smile she had always loved, "Hi, Penny, it's good to see you too."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N A sincere thanks to you that reviewed. I hope you know what they mean to me. I am just borrowing these characters for a while.**

As they moved their equipment to the area designated by the Collider staff to store until the next day, the Director, Bill Morgan, heaved a sigh of relief. They were actually a little ahead of schedule after the first day. Most of it was due to the performance of the crew and the cast, but also to the Science Advisor. He had been extremely professional and unlike some other such experts Bill had worked with stuck to direct, concise answers. It was also obvious he was a Brainiac and really knew his stuff.

The news had spread through the cast and crew that Penny had once been married to him. For a while Bill had been worried about it being disruptive, but the two of them had both been completely professional around each other. In fact, it had turned out to be a plus since it seemed to make them work efficiently together. They reminded him of two good friends.

Of course, he had been as shocked as the others that they had been married, they seemed so different. But that probably explained why it hadn't lasted. In any case, everyone had been impressed by Leonard.

As everyone moved out to board the buses for the ride back to the Hotel, Penny looked for Leonard. She had to admit she had been a little nervous for him. Not about his ability but that he would let his insecurities stop him from showing what he was capable of. Now she realized that she had forgotten that when it came to his work, Leonard had always been impressive. Then the truth about her and Leonard had spread like wildfire. Again she was a little nervous how everyone, including Leonard, would react, but although she could tell the others wondered how such an odd couple could have been together, she and Leonard had been comfortable working with each other.

She saw him and was about to head toward him, but he was in conversation with some of the crew and apparently was going to ride back with them. Bill and Warren came up to her, Warren was speaking; "Well, Penny, if we can keep up today's schedule we might finish up early."

She turned toward them, "That's good news." Then she unconsciously looked back over her shoulder. Warren looked at Bill and said, "Your Ex really did an excellent job. I was quite impressed."

She turned back with a smile and a look of pride on her face, "Yeah, he really is a great guy."

Bill and Warren raised their eyebrows a little as they proceeded to board the first bus.

As she normally did, Penny had room service deliver her supper and she spent her time working over the script for the next day. She had obtained Leonard's room number and was tempted to call him and discuss the day, but decided everything was going well and didn't want to take a chance of screwing it up.

Leonard rode back on the bus with some of the crew. Some of the technical people shared his love for super heroes. He was pleased when they invited him to have supper with them. He had a good time, but was disappointed to find that Penny and most of the cast took their dinners in their rooms.

After dinner, he returned to his room and studied the script for the next day, making notes where he thought they might need his help. He was pleased on how things had gone the first day and it had been great to work with Penny. He had been impressed at the way she handled herself and continued to be awed by her talent.

The next morning at breakfast, Warren came up to Leonard. "With all the hubbub of the first day, I didn't get a chance to tell you how pleased I and Bill were with your performance. Not only did you do a great job, you were a big part of why we are ahead of schedule."

Leonard was stunned, "Thank you, Sir. I am glad I helped. I was a little awed by all that was going on. It was amazing for me to see a movie being made."

"Just call me Warren. Well, guess it's time to do it all again."

The second day continued to go well, although there were some technical problems that caused a small delay. Leonard again impressed everyone by stepping in to help. Leonard for his part, was stunned when he saw how much of the action scenes Penny took part in. She rarely used a stunt double. He did not have much interaction with her, spending most of the day with the rest of the cast.

In spite of the delays, shooting remained on schedule. The next day however would be a challenge. Some of the most complicated scenes were to be shot. Leonard decided to take supper in his room so he could have more time to go over the script.

That extra work proved to be providential because he was stretched to the limit the next day as Bill was forced to make changes on the fly. It was a long stressful day for everyone, but they all felt a sense of pride as they managed to get everything in. They were also all pleased about the quality of the work they had done.

Everyone was in a good mood when they got back to the hotel and spent a little more time in the bar then they had the previous two days. Penny and the rest of the cast celebrated with them. Leonard had two beers before he decided he needed to get some rest before the next day. In looking over the script, it appeared it would be a slow day for him. The biggest scene was Penny making out with her leading man with the Collider as a backdrop. Leonard had to admit he was not really looking forward to watching it, although everyone told him that the actors hated those scenes.

Penny returned to her room, after having only one drink. She was proud of the fact that she had a reputation of being ready for work every day. She went over the script, dreading the scene with Todd the next day. Love scenes were the worst. Everything was choreographed and you had to be sure you didn't show more of yourself than planned. And no matter how often you did it, it was still a little embarrassing to do it in front of a crowd.

Then she surprised herself by wondering what Leonard would think of it. Where the Hell had that come from? After that first awkward encounter, one thing had been true of her and Leonard. The lovemaking was phenomenal. They both knew exactly what pleased the other. Add that to his famed foreplay and his ability to surprise her, made him a great lover.

She began to realize she probably shouldn't have started down that path when she mused it had been some time since she had sex of any kind. When she realized what she was thinking, she immediately dismissed that out of hand and struggled to put it out of her mind. But it refused to go and she suddenly realized how much she wanted it.

Leonard had just settled in bed when there was a knock at his door. Wondering who could possibly be wanting to see him that time of night, he put on his robe and opened the door. To say he was shocked would be a gigantic understatement when he saw it was Penny wearing a long coat. She quickly pushed by him and said, "Quick, shut the door."

He was about to ask what the hell she was doing there, when she smiled at him and took off the coat revealing a sexy Teddy underneath.

With his eyes widening, he managed to get out, "What are you doing?"

Penny smirked, "If you can't figure it out, I am not doing it very well."

"But why."

She smiled, "Why not? We are two adults."

"You know what I mean."

"God, Leonard, must you always talk so much. I want you. I want you to make love to me. We were always so good together." But then she reached down for the coat, "But if you don't want to…"

He closed the distance between them and took her in his arms, his lips crushed against hers.

Wrapped in each other's arms they stumbled backward onto the bed. Then, it was like the years apart never existed, it was like no time had passed. They explored each other's bodies, each doing what they could to please the other. Then finally, they shuddered and came together, with Penny as vocal as always.

Afterwards, Penny snuggled in to Leonard, wanting to get as close as she could.

But then as the heat of their passion passed, both wondered what to say, what this had meant.

Leonard started first, "That was wonderful, Penny. You are so beautiful. But what did this mean?"

"God, I forgot how amazing you really are. And you are beautiful too." Then she said sadly, "I am sorry, Leonard, I don't know what came over me. Just being with you these three days, watching how impressive you've been…"

She sat up and looked down at him, "But you know it will never work between us. We failed back then and now I have my life and you have yours. Oh, God, I still just keep hurting you."

He reached up and touched her cheek. "You haven't hurt me, Penny, this was wonderful. I gave up a long time ago believing we could be together. Let's just treat this for what it was, two people giving each other pleasure."

Penny had a feeling that Leonard was not being completely honest but he was right. Reluctantly she got to her feet and put her Teddy back on, looking for her coat.

Leonard got up and put his boxers and robe back on.

They met by the door. Penny leaned forward and gave him a soft kiss on the mouth. "I do care for you, Leonard. I think I may even still love you."

Leonard looked into her eyes, "I have always loved you, Penny."

She smiled and kissed him on the cheek before she went out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Thanks to those who reviewed, they are my life blood. Still belongs to Chuck Lorre**

It turned out to be fortunate that it was a light day for Leonard because he was still affected by what had happened the night before. He had told Penny the truth that he had come to realize they were not to be, but being with her had been unbelievable and made him realize how much he missed her.

As for Penny, when he told her he still loved her, it threatened that belief she had held on to, that she was not right for Leonard, that he deserved someone who could love him without reserve. But while she was proud of her success and happy in her skin, she still knew they would end up hurting each other. She knew she should regret what she had done, but she could not condemn what had been so wonderful.

It did have one surprise result, however. When she got into the love scene with Todd, she found that thinking of Leonard watching had caused her to be a little unprofessional in her interactions with Todd. When he started to respond, they had quickly realized what they were doing and managed to get back to being actors. It did make for a heck of a scene though and both were embarrassed to see the looks on the rest of the crew and cast. The awkward silence was broken when someone in the crew called out, "Now THAT'S what I call acting."

Everyone laughed and things returned to normal.

That night, Penny stayed studiously in her room, overcoming the urge to repeat the night before.

The last day went smoothly and they finished up in plenty of time. As they were packing up their equipment, Warren went over to where Leonard was helping one of the technicians.

"Well, we did it. And even a little ahead of schedule. Again, Leonard, I want to commend you on your work. You were a major reason for our success. I didn't know if you were aware, but these were the last scenes we needed to shoot. It's all up to the editors now. We've decided to have the cast party here at the hotel instead of getting everyone back together at the studio. You of course are invited. It will be tomorrow in the main ballroom starting about 3:00."

"Thank you, Mr….Warren. I'd love to attend."

"Great, I'll see you there."

As everyone headed out to the buses for the last time, Penny walked up to Leonard. The others he had been walking with quickly moved on telling him they'd see him back at the Hotel.

"I just wanted to say how great it has been spending this time with you. I am really proud of you. Everyone had nothing but good things to say. I have a feeling you may get some offers in the future."

"Thank you for saying that, Penny. It was wonderful to work with you too. I have really missed being part of your life."

"I know, Leonard, I have missed you as well."

She hesitated, "I have also missed the sex. I didn't realize how much until the other night."

Leonard smiled, "We are good together." Then he smirked, "Maybe I could become a groupie, you know, follow you around just to occasionally have sex with you."

Penny laughed, "I could get into that."

But then she turned serious, "But, I'm afraid I care too much for you to do that."

Then she leaned her forehead against his, "Oh, God, Leonard, what's wrong with me? I do love you but I just know I'll screw up again. I can't take a chance of hurting you again." Then she smiled sadly, "You remember that time Raj had that stupid Murder Mystery game? We never did figure out what to do if we were in our current situation."

"Penny, you can't take all the blame of why we broke up. I just wasn't what you needed. Maybe sometimes loving each other isn't enough. And you're right we never did figure it out."

They looked up and saw everyone was on the buses, looking back at them.

Leonard spoke up, "I guess we better get going."

As they walked toward their rides, Penny said, "Oh, there is a cast party tomorrow. Do you want to come?"

"I'll be there. Warren already invited me."

"That's great."

That night, Penny came to Leonard's room again, but this time to talk. They brought each up to date on the other's lives. Penny's contribution was mostly talking about actors she had worked with that had been in movies that Leonard and the others watched.

It was a pleasant evening and reminded each of them that one thing they always had been were good friends.

The next day at the party there was a dance floor and much to Leonard's and Penny's surprise, everyone insisted they do the first dance. Leonard had never been one for dancing, but he had found he loved to dance with Penny. The others soon joined them. Leonard was a little surprised how emotional the party was and realized many of these people had not worked together before and may not again. It was also a combination of pride at what they had done and a little sadness that it was over.

The party wound down with everyone, starting with Bill and Warren, making a short speech. To his surprise Leonard was also asked to say a few words.

"This has turned out to be one of the most fun weeks I have had for a long time. Seeing how a film is made has been interesting and exciting. All of you have been so great to me and made me feel that I belonged. I especially want to thank Warren for giving me this opportunity."

He hesitated and then said, "It has also been great for me to see Penny again. "

He finished up, "I also would like to say that if I had my way, I would love to do this again."

He got a good round of applause and everyone came up to say goodbye as the party broke up.

Everyone then went to their rooms and prepared to leave.

When Penny reached the Lobby, she saw Leonard standing with his luggage. She smiled and walked over to him.

"Well, I guess this is it. It's been wonderful to see you again, Leonard.".

"It's been great for me too. I can't wait to see the movie when it comes out. It will be special to know I had a small part in making it. I don't think I told you, Penny. I think you are an amazing actress. This is what you were destined for." He smiled sadly, "Maybe that's why we could never make it work."

Penny nodded but answered, "I suppose that could be true, but I think we were pretty great together too."

Leonard smiled, "I think so, too."

Just then Warren called out that it was time to board the buses for the ride to the airport.

Penny turned to go, but Leonard just stood there. "Leonard, it's time to go. Why don't you ride with me?"

"Thanks, but I am not going back. It seems that Caltech has been working with Cern to find time to work on a project. Since I am already here, they have decided to do it now. I will probably be here for at least a couple weeks."

"Aren't you staying at the hotel?"

Leonard smiled ruefully, "I am afraid it is a little beyond Caltech's budget. Besides, I will be staying at some lodgings provided for visiting scientists."

"All right. Well Goodbye and good luck." She hesitated a moment and the came back and gave him a quick hug and kissed him on the cheek.

He hugged her back and then said, "Goodbye, Penny."

He smiled sadly as he watched her leave.

Penny entered her apartment in New York. Although she called it home, she had really not spent much time there. Astounded at her success, she had not wanted to waste any opportunities. She had been making movies nearly non-stop. But before this last movie, she had decided she needed a break. She was very select in what she would do next, and it would be six months before shooting would begin on her new picture.

She wasn't exactly sure how she was going to spend that time, but she knew she was looking forward to finding out.

She changed into something comfortable and sat down with a bottle of wine. She realized how good this felt, just being by herself and able to relax.

After being a complete bum for over a week, she decided she should get something done. She spent time looking over scripts that had been sent to her. She sat a couple aside to think about.

Then she decided to tackle her fan mail. It was actually a small subset of the mail she received. She had an assistant that went through it and only sent her ones she felt were different and interesting. Her assistant also looked for any threatening letters or potential stalkers and sent those to the police.

Many of the ones Penny read had been sent through because they were fun to read. Ironically the most interesting were those that panned her as an actress. Penny had a thick skin and wanted to read them to see if they really had any constructive suggestions.

One letter really caught her attention. It was from the Make a Wish Foundation. It concerned a nine-year old girl from California whose wish was to be on a movie set with Penny.

Penny immediately contacted them and found that there was no guarantee that the girl would be alive in six months.

Penny quickly contacted Cynthia, an actress friend of hers who she knew was currently filming a movie in Los Angeles. As soon as Cynthia heard what was going on, she invited Penny to come out and use her movie as a backdrop for Penny to meet with the girl. She agreed they would stage some scenes with Penny being the actor.

Penny thanked her and set up a time for the girl to come to the studio. A week later, after arranging everything with the Foundation, Penny was on a plane to Los Angeles.

Everything went as planned and Penny knew she had never been involved in anything that brought her so much pride and joy, but also such a deep sense of sadness as it did granting that last wish.

Not sure how long it would take and wanting to stay flexible, Penny had only bought a one-way ticket. She was about to call the airlines for her return flight when she happened to see an advertisement for the Pasadena Rose Bowl.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Thank you for your reviews. I am always amazed at your ideas and input. They are often better than the story. Everyone still belongs to Chuck Lorre. **

Seeing the sign about Pasadena caused Penny to consider whether she should go see everyone. It would be nice to see Leonard again with some time for them to just be together. She still couldn't see them back together, but she realized she enjoyed being with him. She wondered if they could somehow become friends again. She had to smirk to herself, or maybe friends with benefits.

She could also see the rest of them. Leonard had talked about them and what they were doing, but that was not the same as being with them again, like old times.

But then she remembered how she had left things with them. I mean, she had tried to seduce Sheldon for God's sake. To meet Amy again would be a little uncomfortable, to say the least. The truth was, she was ashamed to face her.

She and Bernadette had not parted on good terms either. When Bernadette had tried to help after she lost the baby, she had rejected her and said some things she regretted. She had just been in no mood to be comforted by someone who had no problem having two kids. She just couldn't feel that Bernadette was being anything but condescending to her.

Penny shook her head, God, she had really been messed up. The problem was, there were still times when the pain and guilt from that time still affected her.

Even though she tried to tell herself it had been four years, she realized she just didn't want to risk bringing up all those old memories.

Then there was the fact that Leonard might still be in Europe.

In the end, she completed her call to the airlines. She was able to get a First Class seat for the next morning.

The next morning, she had secured her ticket, been cleared through security, and was heading to the VIP Lounge, when someone called out to her.

She turned and to her amazement saw Leonard coming toward her. When he reached her, he gave her a hug which she returned. He stepped back and looked at her, "I thought you were going back to New York."

"I did, but then something came up that I needed to take care of out here."

"Do you have some time to talk? Maybe have a cup of coffee?"

She looked at her watch, "I guess I have time for that. I was headed for the VIP Lounge, why don't we go there?"

"Wow, the VIP Lounge. Do they let lowly Experimental Physicists in there?"

"Only if their with a big star like me."

She went on, "Don't you have to get your luggage or something?"

"It will still be there. Should be easier to find."

They went to the lounge and after they were seated and served, Penny spoke first, "How did it go at Cern?"

"It went really well; I was able to finish the project. I also decided I was not quite ready yet to get back to work, so I asked for a couple weeks off. After the excitement of the last few weeks, I decided I needed a break. I was going to travel around Europe, but decided I really didn't want to do that alone, so I came back home."

He went on, "What about you? What brought you to California?"

Penny got animated, "It was just amazing, Leonard. When I got to my apartment, I found I had received a letter from the Make A Wish Foundation. It was about this nine-year old girl, Margie Townsend, who is dying of Cancer. It seems I am her favorite movie star and her wish was to be on a movie set with me. As I told you, it will be six months before my next picture and it turned out she might not live that long. So, I called an actress friend of mine out here and she arranged to have me work on her set."

She suddenly felt herself tearing up, "It was so great and yet so sad. We had a wonderful time. It was so cool to see how happy and excited she was."

She got a tissue out of her purse and dabbed at her eyes.

Leonard reached out and put his hand on her shoulder, "That sounds fantastic, Penny. I am so glad you got to do something like that. I am also proud that you did it."

Penny leaned into his hand and put her other hand on his. "Thank you, Leonard, it really was a great experience."

Suddenly, Leonard had an idea, a little hesitantly he said, "Since you are out here and have some time, why don't you stay over and see everyone? Since I also have some time off, we could maybe find some things to do together. "

"That sounds like a great idea, but…"

"What's wrong?"

"I am not sure I want to face everyone. I didn't exactly leave on good terms with them."

"It's been a long time, Penny. They have been excited about your success. I am sure it will be fine."

"I know, It's just…, I still feel ashamed of what I did."

Suddenly she was struck by an idea. She almost dismissed it out of hand, but then realized how much she wanted to do it. Before he could say more, she hurried on, "How about this? Why don't you come back to New York with me and we can spend time together there? I can show you the Big Apple, we can take a trip down to D.C…"

She hesitated and then smiled, "All that, and you can stay free with me."

Leonard was stunned. He knew this was probably a bad idea. He had accepted that he and Penny were not meant to be together. But the thought of spending time with her, of being near her, was more than he could resist.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yes, no. I don't know. What I do know is that I enjoy being with you."

"I can't believe I am saying this, but I'm in."

Penny beamed, "Okay, let's see if we can get you on this flight with me. I think they still had some seats in First Class."

Caught off guard, "First Class? I don't know if I can afford that."

"Don't worry, it's on me." Seeing he wasn't sure about accepting that, she hurried on, "Please, Leonard, let me do this. Hell, I still owe for all those meals I mooched off you."

Leonard smiled, "That's true. Alright, let's do it."

Three hours later, having managed to get tickets and get Leonard's luggage back through security, Penny and Leonard settled into their seats as the plane lifted off.

Leonard looked over at Penny. What the Hell was he doing? He had never done anything remotely like this. He had a feeling he was setting himself up to be hurt. No, he was going into this with his eyes open. It was something he wanted to do. If he could only be with her for a couple weeks, he was more than happy about that. He more than anyone knew that Penny was not ready to settle down, to be committed. He would take this for what it was. But while that was true, he also knew he still could not avoid holding out a faint hope it could lead to more.

Penny noticed Leonard looking at her. What was it about him that she just couldn't let him go? Ever since Warren told her about him working with them, everything had come rushing back. She sighed, she had been so cruel to him, had hurt him so many times. But through it all, she had been in love with him. Maybe he had been right, maybe she always felt like she was settling, that there should be more. Well, now she was a big star, all her dreams had come true. She had to admit it probably wouldn't have happened if they had not broken up. At the same time, she realized she had never stopped loving him. This trip was probably a bad idea, but she wanted it, she wanted to be with him. She knew it did not change anything. They still lived in different worlds and there was no reason to believe she could be trusted to make any kind of commitment. But she didn't care, she was going to be happy and enjoy it to the fullest.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Thank you so much to all my reviewers. They really do mean a lot to me. I still own nothing. **

When they arrived in New York, they decided they wanted to avoid any publicity or having paparazzi following them around. Penny gave Leonard a key and they took separate cabs to her apartment. For the first two days they couldn't get enough of each other. Clothes were optional. After that, things settled down a little and they spent the next couple days seeing the sights of New York. Penny assumed the persona she used when she wanted to remain out of the spotlight.

They even took a train trip down to Washington, D.C.

Each night they made love.

It was all wonderful, but after the fourth day, something changed slightly. Penny couldn't quite put her finger on it, but something was different. Deciding it was her imagination, she just concentrated on enjoying the time they had together.

The sixth night they were together, Penny awoke in the middle of the night. She wasn't sure what had awakened her, but then she realized Leonard was not in bed with her. She put on a robe and went out to the living room. Leonard had put on his shorts and tee shirt and was looking out the window.

She walked up beside him. He turned his head for a moment, then turned back to the window.

"Is something wrong, Sweetie? Couldn't sleep?"

He didn't turn but said quietly, "As soon as I can get a ticket, I am going home."

Penny was stunned. She had never expected this. She finally managed to get out, "But why? I thought things were going great between us."

When Leonard finally turned toward her, she could see his eyes were wet, which caused her to form tears as well, "It has been great. It's been wonderful."

"Then, why…?"

"I don't know if I can explain. I'll probably mess it up."

Penny touched his arm, "Just say it. I'll understand."

He looked into her eyes, "Every day that I stay will make it hurt more when I leave. I love you, Penny. "

He sighed, "It's just that, this isn't real. It's a fantasy."

She stared at him, trying to understand, "You think I have been faking? That our lovemaking isn't real?"

"No. I knew I would blow this." He ran his fingers through his hair, "It's been wonderful, I can feel the love between us, but nothing has changed. We always were wonderful together. It was not enough in the past and it's not enough now."

He looked pleadingly at her, "I just need it to be more."

As he saw the sadness in her face, he went on. Looking down, "I thought I could do this. Just be with you and enjoy the time we have. But I was fooling myself. I love you too much. Deep down I hoped we would get back together."

He looked up at her and saw the tears in her eyes, "But we're not, are we?"

Seeing her avoid his eyes, still fighting tears, he sadly said, "It's just better for me to get out now. Each day will just make it more difficult."

Penny wanted to tell him he was wrong, that they could be together again. That she loved him the same way he loved her. She wanted so much to believe it. But she just couldn't take the chance of hurting him again. Of failing him again. Then there was their careers...

Seeing she wasn't saying anything, he leaned in and kissed her softly on the mouth. "It's okay, Penny, I went into this knowing I could get hurt. It has been a beautiful few days. Somethings just aren't meant to be."

He lifted her head to look at him, "We sure did give it a hell of a try."

She realized he was trying to change the mood, but her heart was breaking. She hated that it was this way. She hated herself that she couldn't be what he deserved. But he was right, all they seemed to do was set themselves up to hurt each other.

She took his hand and led him back to the bedroom. She got him settled and then took off her robe and changed into some night clothes. She then laid down next to him. Soon they both fell into a troubled sleep.

The next morning they called the airlines and found out there were no coach tickets available but he could try standby. Penny wouldn't let him take a chance on that and finally got him to agree she would pay the difference between a coach and a first-class ticket.

They both decided they would say their goodbyes there. They called for a cab and just held each other until it came. They exchanged one last kiss and then he was gone.

For the next couple of days, Penny moped around her apartment, drinking wine and constantly breaking into tears. Then she took a good look in the mirror and chided herself, "You're pathetic. He's gone. You're Penelope Lawrence. You won an Oscar for God's sake. Quit feeling sorry for yourself. You've made a great life without him."

That evening, she put on one of her sexiest dresses and hit the town; dancing at all the best clubs, hobnobbing with other celebrities. Compared all the good-looking men to a short, bespectacled scientist.

When she returned alone to her apartment, she cried herself to sleep.

The next day, she decided she needed to get away. She still had over four months left and wasn't going to spend them wallowing in self-pity. Maybe she should go to Europe or Africa or somewhere.

But she knew she really didn't really want to go to any of those places. Suddenly, those six months away from work no longer looked appealing.

When the idea first hit her, she dismissed it out of hand, but it persisted.

When her parents had found out about her cheating on Leonard and divorcing him, they were appalled. Her father had been livid and wanted nothing to do with her.

She had understood and was too ashamed to face them. When she got her big break, it provided her a way to avoid dealing with them. She knew that was part of why she had kept so busy making movies.

When she won the Oscar, they had sent her a letter congratulating her. She thanked them but it was apparent they were still not ready to put the past behind them.

But now, she realized she wanted to see them. She wanted to go home.

She finally got her courage up and placed the call.

Her mother answered, "Hello."

"Mom, it's Penny."

"Oh my God, Penny!" Penny heard her call out, "Wyatt, it's Penny."

"It's so good to hear your voice. Are you all right? Where are you?"

"I'm fine, Mom, I am in New York." She hesitated and then went on, "Mom, I want to come home."

"Are you sure nothing's wrong?"

"No, Mom, I just have some time before my next picture and I would like to spend some time with you guys."

Penny could hear mumbling and figured her Mom was talking to her Dad.

Then Wyatt's voice came on the phone. "I don't suppose you need our help for a ticket?"

Penny smiled, "No, Dad, I think I can handle it."

His voice grew soft, "We've missed you. I'm sorry I was so damn stubborn."

Penny felt herself tearing up, "Well, we all know where I get it from." After a moment, "I've missed you too."

"Well, let's quit jabbering so you can arrange to come. When do you plan to head out?"

"As soon as I can get a ticket. I'll call and let you know."

"That's great." After a hesitation, his voice breaking slightly, "We love you, Penny."

With tears now flowing, "I love you, too."

"Goodbye for now, we'll be waiting for your call."

"Goodbye."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N I still am just borrowing these wonderful characters. Thank you again for all your reviews, I do really appreciate your support and input. Thanks also to all of you who read my stories. **

As it turned out, Penny took three days to get things in order in New York before she left for home. Wyatt picked her up at the airport and as they left the city and drove through the countryside, Penny knew she had made the right decision. She needed to get her head in order. Traveling as her other persona, she hoped her visit would not be noticed by the press.

When they pulled into the yard, Susan came out to meet them. She and Penny exchanged a tearful hug.

"Oh, it's so good to see you and have you home."

"It's good to be home."

Susan turned to Wyatt, "Why don't you take her bag up to her room? We'll meet you in the kitchen."

When Wyatt entered the kitchen, Penny and Susan were sitting at the table, each fortified with a cup of coffee.

As Wyatt sat down, Susan was saying, "How long can you stay?"

"My next picture doesn't start shooting for four months, but I will probably have to head back before then."

Wyatt spoke up, "Well, you're welcome to stay as long as you like."

"Thanks, Dad." She went on, "Is it okay if I rest for a bit and then I would love to go for a ride."

Susan smiled, "That sounds good. We have nothing special planned, were just glad to have you here."

Soon, Penny was riding Whiskey through the fields. She hadn't realized how much she had missed this. When she finally returned to the farm, it was time for supper. After eating and helping with the dishes, she headed up to her room to unpack.

When she had finished, she sat on the bed and picked up the snowflake that Leonard had given her when she first knew she felt romantic feelings for him. She had come across it when she had been packing. She thought of all that had happened. The times they broke up, Leonard being with Priya. Somehow they had stayed friends and eventually she was able to return his love.

She held the snowflake up to the light. Leonard had said it would last forever. If only that had been true for them. She smiled to herself as she thought of watching him work on the set, how proud she had been of him. She thought of that night she went to his room and the time they spent in New York.

She was proud of her career and loved to act, but she knew she was not as happy as she had been when she was with Leonard. Sighing, she put the snowflake on the table by the bed and laid back.

Why, knowing she loved Leonard and he made her happy, did she keep messing it up? What was stopping her from committing herself to him? She could blame it on their careers but if she could ever get her head together, they would find a way to make it work.

Why had she reacted the way she did to the miscarriage? Logically, she knew it wasn't her fault. She knew it was not an uncommon occurrence, that it was nothing she did or didn't do. Why had she felt so guilty, why did she feel so strongly she had let Leonard down? Why didn't she let his love make her feel better? It was as if she wanted to feel that way. Was it because of the fact she had not wanted children before? Why was she so afraid of trying again?

As when she had thought of this before, it seemed like she was missing something. That there was something she just could not get her arms around, something that would help her understand.

For the next two weeks, Penny rode every day and spent a good portion of the rest of her time helping out on the farm.

Ever since Lisa had heard she was visiting; her sister had wanted her to visit her and her husband Bob. They lived on a farm about two hundred miles away. Penny finally gave in and renting a car posing as her other persona, she set out to visit them.

As she drove, she thought about Lisa and Bob. Although Penny had been wild in high school, she was eclipsed by her sister. Known as Leasy, she lived up to the name. Although Penny didn't believe it, it was rumored she slept with every member of the football team her junior year.

When she graduated, barely, she took a job at a local store and kept her wild lifestyle.

Then, one day, Bob came into the store. He was a few years older than her and clearly not her type. But somehow Lisa fell for him and he became the stabilizing figure in her life. They got married and she immediately had two boys who were now in their teens.

While Wyatt and Susan were happy to see her settle down, they also felt she lost something as well. One reason Penny had hesitated to visit them was that it hurt her in a way to see Lisa. She seemed a shell of the girl she was before. Then there was the fact that Bob did not approve of her or her lifestyle. When she had married Leonard, it stilled him for a while, but when Penny divorced Leonard and became a movie star, Bob let everyone know he had been right about her.

But when Penny arrived at the farm and Lisa rushed out to give her a hug, she was glad she had decided to come. It turned out that the two boys did not share their father's position and were excited to have their famous Aunt visit them. They wanted to tell everyone but Lisa made them promise not to let anyone know that Penny was there. Penny could tell that Bob was not pleased with the situation but she had to admit he was civil to her.

After she got settled in, she and Lisa went for a ride. As they rode, Penny could see that riding was an escape for Lisa. It was like old times when they had ridden together.

After she had been there a couple days, Lisa led her to a small stream on the edge of their property. She dismounted and had Penny do so as well. As they sat by the stream, Lisa told her this was were she went when she wanted to be alone.

They sat there quietly for a time before Penny broke the silence, "How are you doing, Lisa? Are you happy?"

Lisa didn't answer for a few moments but then said, "For the most part, yes. I know you think Bob is too strict, that he keeps me on a chain." She looked at Penny, "He saved me, Penny. I hate to think where I would be now if not for him. He does love me in his way and we have two wonderful kids. Do I love him passionately? Is our sex life wonderful? No, but I do love and admire him."

Penny was stunned, she had never heard Lisa speak this way. Suddenly she thought about Leonard, about how they loved each other; how passionate she was for him. She realized she had not realized how lucky she had been to find a man that made her feel the way Leonard did, that treated her the way he did.

Lisa had gone on, "How about you Penny? I know you have what you always dreamed of. Are you happy?"

If Lisa had asked her that before Leonard had returned to her life, she would have probably said yes. She had reconciled herself to not being with him. But now she thought how she had been when he had left New York, how empty she felt.

But what should she say? She realized she needed to tell someone.

"If you would have asked me that a couple months ago, I would have quickly said yes. But then Leonard came back into my life."

She then told an astonished Lisa about all that happened from the time she saw him at the Collider.

Lisa finally spoke up, "I was so sad when I heard about your miscarriage and you and Leonard breaking up. I always thought you were good for each other. I was surprised at what happened but couldn't judge you because I never faced what you did. I am sure I would have been lost too."

She went on, "I did have a friend that had a miscarriage but I was stunned when she told me she considered it a blessing, that she was not ready to have children. I tried not to judge her, but frankly was shocked that someone could feel that way."

Suddenly, Penny felt that someone had hit her in the stomach. Thoughts and memories that she had long repressed and buried came rushing back to her. She managed to get to her feet. Fighting to keep in control, she said, "I think we should get back."

Lisa was surprised and was about to say something, but Penny was already getting ready to mount.

The ride back to the house was silent as Lisa wondered what had happened.

Penny was quiet the whole night and the next day announced she was going back to Omaha. Lisa was shocked and wanted to talk to her, but Penny was obviously determined to leave.

As Lisa said goodbye, Penny told her, "I'm sorry, but I have to go."

Lisa nodded and said, "If I can help, Penny, I am here for you."

"Thanks, Lisa, that means a lot to me."

All the way back to the farm, Penny had to fight to keep control, to concentrate on her driving. When she got back to the farm, she went directly to her room and made it clear she wanted to be alone. Susan called Lisa to see if she knew what had happened, but Lisa said she had no idea. She knew Penny would not want her to say anything about what they had talked about.

For the next week, Penny just left her room to go riding and eat one meal a day. Wyatt and Susan could tell she had been crying. Finally, Susan had enough. She went up to Penny's room and knocked on the door. When Penny answered, "Go away," Susan opened the door and went inside. Penny was sitting on her bed with her back to the head board. She had obviously been crying.

"I thought I told you to go away."

"I will not. This has gone far enough. I want to know what's going on. You can't go on like this."

"You're right. I need to get out of here. I am going back to New York."

"No, you're not. You are going to sit down with me and tell me what the hell is the matter with you."

Penny angrily got to her feet. "Who the hell do you think you are? I am not your little girl; I'm leaving and you're not going to stop me."

Wyatt came in the door. "You are not leaving in this condition." Then his voice softened, "We love you, Penny, please let us help you."

Penny shocked them when she fell back on to the bed, "You wouldn't love me if you knew. No one can help me." She then began to sob uncontrollably.

Wyatt looked at Susan who went over and sat on the bed. "We will always love you, Penny, please let us try to help you. You need to let it out."

Suddenly Penny turned and threw her arms around Susan, continuing to cry. Susan hugged her back and signaled to Wyatt to leave them alone.

They stayed like that until Penny had no more tears to shed. She sat back on the bed as Susan handed her a tissue. Dabbing at her eyes she looked down and said, "Mom, can we talk?"

Susan teared up a little herself and said, "Of course, Honey."

Still not looking at her mother, she told her about how she thought she felt after the miscarriage, about how she had wanted the child for Leonard, how she felt she had failed him, how she had always hurt him. That she felt unworthy of his love. That the reason she cheated was to make him realize he needed to let her go.

When she finished, Susan reached out an touched her shoulder, "I can't imagine how it must have been for you. I wish you could have made Leonard understand. I wish you had felt you could talk to us, but I can see why you felt the way you did.

Then Penny told her about what had happened with Leonard, how she realized how much they still loved each other, but Penny still couldn't trust herself to commit to him.

Susan had to admit she was a little surprised. She couldn't quite see what was holding Penny back from giving them a second chance.

Penny took a deep breath, then she continued, "But I know now it was all a lie. I know why I felt the way I did. Why I still feel I am not right for Leonard. When I was talking to Lisa, she said something that brought back memories that I had hidden away even from myself because I couldn't face them."

She looked in her Mother's eyes, "When I realized that I had miscarried, I was relieved, I was glad that my baby was dead!"

Susan stared at her and then started, "Oh, Penny..."

"Even though I managed to suppress those thoughts, to make them disappear, I couldn't escape the guilt associated with them. I knew that I was worthless, that I was unworthy of Leonard." She looked back down, "God, I am such a horrible person."

Susan struggled to deal with what she had heard, to find something to help her daughter. She awkwardly reached out and took Penny's hand.

Then she lifted Penny's chin and looked into her eyes, "Do you think you are the only woman who ever wished she weren't pregnant? Who wanted it to just go away?"

She sat back, "I am going to tell you something that only Wyatt and I know about."

"After you were born, we decided that two children were enough. Then, less than six months later I discovered I was pregnant again. Your pregnancy had been difficult and I just was not ready to go through that again. I struggled for some time, not telling Wyatt I was pregnant. Then, I decided to have an abortion."

Penny stared at her mother in shock. She would never have believed what she was hearing.

"I was at the clinic waiting to have the procedure when a woman who was also waiting sat down beside me. She was one of those people who tell everything to a complete stranger. She told me she was there to try some fertility drugs because she and her husband were trying to have a baby. She was afraid her husband was going to leave her because it was her fault."

"It was so strange. I was there to stop being pregnant and this woman would give anything to be in my shoes. Suddenly, I just couldn't go through with it. I cancelled my appointment and went home."

"As the pregnancy went on, I was glad I had changed my mind. Finally, I told Wyatt what I had planned. He wasn't too happy with me, but we got past it. When Randall was born, we loved him as much as both of you. So it worked out for me."

"You are not a horrible person, Penny. You can not help how you feel. To not want children is a choice. Besides, I know that if the miscarriage had not happened, you would have loved your baby and would have been a wonderful mother."

Penny, tearing up, gave her mother a hug. "Thanks, Mom, for sharing that with me, I know it wasn't easy. And thank you for being here for me."

"I love you, Penny, and I know you are a good person."

She sat back, "Is there more you want to discuss?"

"No, I have plenty to think about."

"What do you want me to tell your Father?"

"Tell him I'll talk to him later."

"Alright. If you're sure you'll be okay, I am going to fix supper."

"I'll be fine, thanks."

The next day Penny had a similar talk with her Father.

He told her he understood why she had felt she had failed Leonard. But he reminded her that Leonard had known she didn't want children, that he had accepted that and still loved her.

Penny asked him, "What did you think when Mother told you about her wanting to have an abortion?"

"I was upset, but not because she didn't want to be pregnant, but that she didn't trust me enough to discuss it with me." He smirked, "Hell, I wasn't too thrilled to have another kid either."

He thought for a moment and then said, "Penny, do you want to get back with Leonard?"

"Yes."

"I think telling him what you have told your mother and me would be a place to start."

"You are probably right, Dad, but I still have a lot to think about."

Wyatt gave her a hug and left her to her thoughts.

Penny stayed at the farm for another two days, spending her time riding and alone in her room.

Then she packed up and made arrangements to fly back to New York.

Susan and Wyatt walked her out to her car. They exchanged hugs and Wyatt spoke first, "Don't be a stranger, Penny. Keep in touch. We love you."

"I will, Dad, I love you both so much. Thanks for everything."

They stood together and waved as she drove off.

Wyatt looked down at Susan, "Do you think she'll be all right? I wish we could have done more."

He sighed, "Are everyone's children like this?"

Susan smiled, "They're Human. They love, they laugh, they cry, they screw up sometimes."

She smirked and went on, "At least only one of them is in jail."

Wyatt chuckled and then he leered at her, "Speaking of screwing…"

She rolled her eyes then smiled. Taking his hand, they went back into the house.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N Thanks again for all your reviews and input. Sorry this has taken so long, but time just seems to slip away. I still don't own anything. **

It had taken all of his willpower to not tell the cab driver to turn around and go back to Penny's. Now, as the plane lifted off, he began to deeply regret leaving. All he could think of was that he could still be with Penny. Why had he done what he did? He knew they weren't going to get back together. Why couldn't he just have spent as much time with her as he could? Would he really feel that much worse if he had stayed the rest of the time?

The strange part was he did believe that Penny wanted to be with him too. What had happened? Why was she afraid of being with him? It would be so easy to just believe she had stopped loving him, but he knew that wasn't true. He realized now he had never really moved on. He had tried to lose himself in his work, but he had never really stopped hoping they would someday, somehow find each other again.

He knew now that from the moment he knew he would see her again, he felt they would somehow get back together. He had hidden it from himself, but he now knew it was true.

So, what now? Even he should be convinced now it was over. It had been wonderful to be with her, to make love to her, but in the end, nothing had changed. He needed to move on.

He had phoned ahead to see if Raj could pick him up. As he exited the terminal, he was surprised to see Amy and Sheldon waiting for him. After putting his luggage in the trunk and getting in the back seat, he asked, "Where's Raj?"

As Amy started to drive off, Sheldon answered him, "When Raj told us he was picking you up, Amy and I felt we should be the ones to do so. After all, I am your best friend."

"Where's Steven?"

"Raj is watching him." Sheldon hesitated, "We were very surprised when you decided to go to New York. Frankly, I had hoped that you had given up on your pursuit of Penny."

Amy said sharply, "Sheldon!"

Leonard smiled sadly, "It's all right, Amy, Sheldon is right. I think I finally realize I have just been fooling myself. Penny and I are done."

The rest of the drive back to the apartment was silent. After the divorce, they had switched apartments again with Leonard moving to 4B. After unpacking, Leonard sat for a time and then deciding he didn't want to be alone, headed across the hall. He saw Raj enter the elevator but decided he didn't want to talk to him just then.

After he entered 4A and was provided with the obligatory beverage, the three of them spent some time talking about other matters, studiously avoiding mentioning Penny. Amy then suggested they call everyone up and have supper together. Leonard hesitated at first but then agreed.

When everyone arrived and they all sat down to eat, Leonard realized this is what he needed. When the talk inevitably turned to him and Penny, he found it actually helped to discuss it with his friends.

It was a little awkward when Howard was shocked that he didn't stay the whole week, but Bernadette quickly got him to abandon that discussion. She then turned to Leonard, "I'm so sorry it didn't work out. I was really pulling for you two to get back together. I know it is naïve of me, but I still think you were meant to be together."

Leonard smiled sadly, "Thank you, Bernadette, but I just don't see a way forward. I just don't understand how we can enjoy being with each other but cannot seem to get past what happened. I thought maybe after all this time…"

Bernadette went on, "I never did completely understand why she withdrew like that. Why she wouldn't let us help her. I felt like she resented me. I thought we were better friends than that."

Amy spoke up, "We have all been over this before. I hate to say it, but maybe it is time for you to move on, Leonard. I don't see what more anyone can do."

Leonard nodded sadly.

After some more mundane discussion, the party broke up. Sheldon asked if Leonard wanted to sleep on the couch, but he said he would be okay.

As he crawled into bed, Leonard finally let the tears fall. He knew it would be the hardest thing he had ever done but it was time to move on. Finally, he was able to fall into a fitful sleep.

After Penny returned to her apartment, she spent the first few days alone thinking about her conversation with Lisa and her parents, trying to come to grips with what she had learned. She felt a small sense of relief that she finally better understood what had caused her to act the way she had after the miscarriage.

At the same time, she could not decide what that revelation meant. She thought about what her Father had said about her needing to talk to Leonard but she wasn't able to see how it would make any difference. She still faced the same difficulty, that she didn't deserve him, that she wasn't what he needed. And in spite of what her parents, especially her mother had told her, she still felt shame for how she had felt.

How did she feel now? She could believe that things had changed, that she would react differently, that she could be a good mother, that she would want to be one. But she had thought she had felt that way before the miscarriage showed her what she really felt. Even if she had changed, did Leonard really want to be with her again? Oh, he said he did and she knew how much he loved her, but that had always been true and yet they had broken up so many times.

She wasn't sure how long she would have gone on like that but then the real world intervened. A messenger came with the first working version of the script for her new movie. It caused her to quit feeling sorry for herself and got her determined to get back to her life.

For the next couple weeks, she threw herself into the script, talked with her Director and fellow members of the cast. Deciding it would do her good to get away, she started to prepare to leave for the set.

But then she started to experience tiredness and even threw up a couple mornings. At first she didn't think anything about it, she often suffered similar symptoms when getting ready for a movie. But suddenly she had another thought. Those first couple wild days she and Leonard had been together, they had not been as circumspect as they should have been. Was it possible she was pregnant?

She shrugged it off mainly because she didn't want to deal with what it would mean. She was supposed to start shooting in just a few months. Everyone associated with the movie would not be happy to say the least.

Even more important, what would this mean for her and Leonard? She had no doubt how he would react. He would be there for her. But how did she feel? Deciding to find out the truth before worrying about what it would mean, she acquired several pregnancy tests.

After urinating on three of them she sat in her bathroom, waiting for the answers, trying to avoid thinking about what the answer would mean.

When the time was up, she looked down at them. She was stunned to find out how powerful her reaction was. Each of them showed NOT PREGNANT. To her surprise, she felt a deep sense of disappointment, of sadness.

The emotions she was feeling almost overcame her. She realized what this meant. She had wanted to be pregnant! In spite of what it might have done to her career, in opposition to how she felt before, she had wanted to be carrying Leonard's baby. She felt herself tearing up and found she was crying both in sadness and relief at how she felt.

Pulling herself together, she suddenly had no doubts about what she needed to do. Ever since she was fired from that awful Apist movie, she had known what she needed to be happy. She realized that even though she had become what she had always dreamed of, there was something missing.

God, she had made so many mistakes. Been so stupid. There was still their careers, but they would figure something out. More than ever she knew she belonged with Leonard. She loved him and needed him.

The first six months of the shooting were to be in Florida, but she was not going to have any more time pass before she was going to do everything she could to make things right with Leonard. She would not rest until they were back together for good. She felt Leonard wanted to be with her too, but she couldn't allow him to just let her back. He needed to know, to truly believe, that she would not break his heart again.

Once more she found herself going cross-country. Arriving in Los Angeles, she rented a room in a hotel and gathering all her courage, found herself outside 4B.

She knocked on the door and when he answered, had to smile to herself at the stunned look on his face.

"Hey, Leonard, can I come in? We need to talk."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N Thanks again for all your reviews. I really do read them and am sure they affect me more than I realize. I still own nothing. **

"Uh, sure, come in."

She had just closed the door when she heard a woman's voice. "Lenny, I'm afraid I used up all your shampoo." Just then a completely nude woman with a gorgeous figure came out of the bedroom, wiping herself with a towel. She had continued, "I'll replace it, I…"

Just then she saw Penny, "Oh, Hi." Then to Penny's shock, she came over to her and extended her hand. Still a little stunned Penny shook hands with her.

"I'm Sandi Shepherd."

Before Penny could answer, Sandi's eyes widened, Oh my God, you're Penny Lawrence!"

She turned to Leonard, "Look, Lenny, it's Penny Lawrence."

Leonard, who had to smile in spite of himself, answered, "I can see that."

Sandi turned back to Penny, who in spite herself also had to grin at the girl's exuberance. "It's so great to meet you. I am in show business, too."

Leonard spoke up, "Sandi is an exotic dancer."

Sandi was going on, "I have seen all your pictures. Can I get an autograph?"

Penny wasn't sure what was going on, but the way Leonard was acting, it didn't seem like she had interrupted anything. She took a pad out of her purse and signed her name, holding it out to Sandi.

Sandi was wrapping the towel around herself and reached out and took the autograph, "Thanks. Wait until the other girls see this."

Then, moving past Penny, "Thanks for the use of your shower, Lenny. Don't forget, there are free tickets whenever you want them at the club."

As she went out, she turned to Penny, "That goes for you too." Then she was gone.

Leonard said ruefully, "She lives in 5B. Her shower wasn't working."

"She certainly doesn't suffer from being overly modest."

Leonard looked a little embarrassed, "This is the only time she has done this."

Penny smiled, "Relax, Leonard." Then she smirked, "As I remember, that's what I did the first time we met. Except I put the towel on first." Then she had to continue, "It might have been interesting if I hadn't."

Seeing Leonard blush at the thought, she sat down on the couch and gestured for him to sit by her.

"Now, to answer your question. I am here to do everything I can to convince you that we should get back together."

Seeing the look on his face, she continued, "I know what I said, that I didn't think it would work and the problems with our professional lives. But I have taken a good look at myself and realize I want to be with you again as husband and wife."

Seeing him about to say something, she hurried on, "I know that is what you wanted, but it is not that easy. We need, I need, to be sure that we are really ready for that. I need to regain your trust. I need you to believe that I am ready for total commitment. That I won't abandon you again."

"I also need to get right with the others. I just hope they can forgive me."

Leonard, still stunned by what she had said, managed to get out. "As I told you, Penny, we were all thrilled about your success. I'm sure it will be fine with them."

"I hope your right, but I still need to talk to them."

"Now, about you and me. Here is what I propose. I have to start a movie in about three months. I don't want us to decide anything before I leave. We can use the time apart to decide if we can move forward. While I am here, there will be no sex. We need to work things out without it."

"I have checked into a hotel and that is where I will sleep. What I believe we need to do is finally sit down and try to understand what happened, to determine if there is still something between us. To be completely honest with each other."

"I know you have to work so we will work around your schedule. I will be able to keep busy getting ready for going back to work."

"I know this will be difficult for both of us, but I want to try. I think what we had, what we have, is worth salvaging. But if you can't or won't, I will understand."

Leonard struggled about what to say. She had hurt him so many times. He had finally reconciled himself that they were not going to be together. Why was she doing this now? But then he realized that he still loved her and he could not say no to a possibility they could get back together.

He looked at her, "I really doubt that anything will change, but I am willing to try."

Penny took a deep breath, "Thank you, Leonard. I don't know if it will work either, but I am glad you are willing to try." She hesitated, "I do love you, Leonard."

He smiled a little sadly, "I love you, too, Penny. That is what makes this so hard."

Penny got to her feet, "After the flight and how nervous I was about whether you would be willing to try, I need to unwind. You still have my number, right?"

When Leonard nodded, she went on, "As I said, we will work around your schedule. Give me a call when you want to begin." She hesitated again, "While we were apart, I went home for a while. I told my parents about what had happened. My Dad told me I needed to talk to you. He was right."

She then reached out her arms and Leonard rose and hugged her. Tearing up a little, she said goodnight and left.

When Penny got back to the hotel, she decided she was too wrought up to settle in. She decided she would try Bernadette.

Bernadette had just gotten the kids settled in and was going to enjoy some me time as Howard and Raj had gone out and would not be back for another hour. Just as she sat on the couch her phone rang; exasperated, she answered a little short, "Hello."

"Hi, Bernadette, this is Penny."

Bernadette, now completely alert, "Penny, it is wonderful to hear from you. Where are you?"

"I am in Pasadena. I am staying at the Monarch." After a hesitation, "Is it possible we could get together? I think it is time we had a talk."

Bernadette was stunned, what was Penny doing in Pasadena? Did Leonard know she was here? What did she want to talk about? Deciding in any case, she did want to hear what Penny had to say. "Of course, Penny, but I am alone with the kids. Do you want to come over here?"

"That would be great, I would love to see them."

"All right, I'll have some wine ready."

Penny arrived about fifteen minutes later and after being greeted by a hug, after having looked in at the kids; she sat across from Bernadette taking a sip from her wine.

"I can't believe how much they've grown." Then smiled ruefully, "Guess it has been a while."

"Penny, if you don't mind, can I ask why you are here in Pasadena?"

Penny took a bigger gulp, "I have come to try to make things right. With you, with Amy and Sheldon, with Leonard."

When Bernadette didn't say anything she went on, "I have already told Leonard that I want us to get back together, to be man and wife again."

Bernadette was surprised, Leonard had told them how they had come to agree that it wasn't to be. Then she got a little angry, Leonard had finally seemed to have accepted that and now Penny was opening it all up again. But she decided she would hear Penny out before making judgements. "What did you want to talk about, Penny?"

Penny took a deep breath, "When you came to me four years ago, you were just trying to help and I treated you like dirt, becoming angry with you and rejecting your help."

"You were hurting, Penny, you don't owe me an explanation."

"Yes, I do. I was terrible to you. I practically threw you out."

She took a sip of her wine and went on, "Worse, I never told you why I reacted the way I did, why I acted like an ass when you were trying to make me feel better, trying to be my friend."

She took another breath, "I hated you. You had brought two children into the world and I couldn't protect one. I felt like such a failure."

"Oh, Penny. Didn't the Doctor tell you that a miscarriage is not that uncommon, that there was nothing you can do about it?"

"Yes, and on some level I believed it." She hesitated again, "But all I could think of was that I hadn't wanted a baby before. I felt I somehow caused it to happen. That it was me. That I had failed Leonard. I just let the guilt and self-pity shut you all out."

Bernadette sat quietly. She wasn't sure what she could say. She had suspected that Penny had felt that way, but it didn't seem enough to cause to cause Penny to cheat on Leonard, to try to break up Amy and Sheldon.

"Penny, I am sure in your position many women have felt that way. But didn't Leonard let you know he didn't blame you? You know he has always loved you."

Penny sighed; how could she explain it. "He did and that should have made be feel better, but it actually made me feel more guilty, more unworthy. I needed him to be angry with me, to treat me like I deserved."

Bernadette just stared at her; how could Penny have felt that way? She then got angry. "How could you have thought that way? How could you not known what it did to Leonard? You keep talking about how you felt. Did you give any thought to how Leonard felt, how saddened he was? That he was hurting too? He wanted to be strong for you."

Penny was stunned. God, she was even a worse person than she thought. She had been so proud when she had found she wanted a baby now. Now she realized she was still only thinking of herself. Still wallowing in her guilt. She had never thought of how it had affected Leonard, of how crushed he must have been. Everything had been about her. He had done everything to be there for her and she had done everything she could to hurt him in some stupid misguided belief she was doing him a favor. When he had needed her the most, she had turned her back on him, had cheated on him.

She looked up at Bernadette, tears starting to flow, "Oh God, Bernadette, I hurt him so much. I was just thinking of myself. How can any of you ever forgive me?"

Bernadette reached out and hugged her, "Because we all love you, Penny. Don't be so hard on yourself. Who knows how I would have acted in your place." She looked into Penny's eyes, "I believe you want to make things right. You just need to be honest with us and with yourself."

Penny pulled herself together, "Thank you, Bernadette. I know now I still have some soul-searching to do before I talk to Leonard and Amy." She hesitated, "Can I ask you not to talk to Leonard and Amy about this? I would like to talk to them myself."

After Bernadette agreed, they sat quietly for a while, sipping at their wine. Then Bernadette decided they needed to stop thinking about what had happened. She started to ask questions about Penny's career and especially about other actors. It took Penny a moment but then she realized what Bernadette was doing and realized she did need to step back and think about something else for a while.

They were still talking when Howard came home. After he got over his surprise, he joined in.

Penny finally excused herself, and giving Bernadette a final hug, "Thank you, Bernadette, for showing me the truth. It's up to me now."

After Penny left, Howard was full of questions. Bernadette smiled tiredly, "Let's get ready for bed and I will tell you everything."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N Thank you so much for your reviews. I still own nothing. **

Penny spent the night twisting and turning, thinking about what Bernadette had said. In the morning, she decided she needed to move forward with her plans with Amy and Sheldon. She would decide later how to face the fact of what she had done to Leonard. She did know she still wanted for them to be together but realized it had become more probable they would fail.

Amy was at work when her phone rang, "This Is Dr. Farrah-Fowler"

"Hello, Amy, this is Penny."

Amy was shocked. Why was Penny calling her after all this time? "Penny, it's great to hear your voice."

"Listen, I am in Pasadena and wondered if we could get together and talk."

"You're in town? How long are you going to be here? Does Leonard know?"

"Yes, Leonard knows. I also talked to Bernadette yesterday. Can we meet?" Penny hesitated, "I want to talk to you about what happened with me and Sheldon. If you want, you can have him there."

Amy found herself getting a little upset, Why was she bringing this up after all this time?

"Do we really need to talk about that? Sheldon and I have long put that behind us."

Penny wasn't sure what to do. Should she just forget it? No, if she and Leonard were to get back together, Amy and Sheldon would be part of her life again.

"I understand Amy, but I really need to talk to you. Can we please meet?"

"Alright, Penny. You remember where my office is? I'll be free about 11:00."

"Thank you so much, Amy. I'll see you then."

After she hung up, Amy wondered if she should call Sheldon or Bernadette. She decided to see what Penny had to say.

Leonard was about to leave for work when there was a knock on his door. He opened it and saw Sandi dressed in an outfit that was somehow sexier than seeing her naked.

"Lenny, I just stopped by to give you this." She handed him a new bottle of his shampoo.

"Thanks, Sandi, but you didn't have to do this."

"Have you got a minute; I did want to talk to you."

"Okay, but just a minute, I was just leaving for work."

She brushed by him and he turned toward her, closing the door behind him.

"I just have to ask, what was Penny Lawrence doing here? How do you know her?"

Leonard wondered if he should say anything but then decided he had no reason to lie. "I was once married to her."

Sandi's eyes widened, "Really? Wow. What happened? Did she dump you?"

"I really don't want to talk about it, if that's okay."

"Sure, I'm sorry." Since she had met Leonard, she had wondered if she should get together with him. She had felt he was cute and funny and she knew he was really smart, but he wasn't really her usual boyfriend. But now that she knew he had been married to a movie star…

She went on, "I was wondering, Leonard, maybe you and I could go out for dinner or something, sometime."

Leonard was surprised, Was she asking him out? He had never really thought about dating her. He did like her; she was funny and he liked to be around her. She certainly was attractive. Then he thought about Penny. He had promised to give them a chance.

"I'm really flattered, Sandi, but I am kind of involved in something right now."

"I understand. But if it doesn't work out, give me a call." She then gave him a kiss on the cheek, being sure her breast rubbed up against him. "Well, I am on the way to the gym. See you later, Lenny."

When Penny showed up at the lab, Amy told her assistant she would be gone for a long lunch. They went to a bar nearby and sat in a corner table. After both getting some wine, Amy sat back, "It is good to see you again, Penny. We have missed you." She took a sip, "Now what is it that you wanted to say?"

"I have missed you as well. I almost came back several times, but was ashamed to do so after what I did." She took a sip, "I am here because I want to get back with Leonard and because I want to try to make things right with the rest of you. I have told Leonard I wanted to try and he has agreed to work at it."

Amy stared at her, She wanted to get back with Leonard? Didn't Leonard just tell them a few days before that he had finally realized he and Penny were done? Why had she changed her mind?' She signed inwardly. After Penny had become a star, they had all hoped that Leonard would be able to finally move on. As much as she wanted them to be happy together, it seemed that Leonard needed to put her behind him. She had hurt him so many times. And now here she was again.

Seeing Penny looking at her, she said, "It took me some time, Penny, but I was able to get past what you tried with Sheldon." She smirked, "After all, it was kind of comforting to know he turned you down." She hesitated, "I really don't want to open old wounds."

"I understand and if you still want me to leave you alone after what I say, I will." She looked into Amy's eyes. "I want to somehow try to be friends again. I know it is a lot to ask, but if I am to ever get things right with Leonard, I need to try to get right with you and Sheldon as well. You two are such a large part of Leonard's life."

Although Amy wasn't still completely convinced, she decided if Leonard did want to try, she could too.

"Alright, I'll go along but I think Sheldon should be in on it. Can you meet us tonight at the apartment?"

Penny would rather have left that time in case Leonard called but she realized she wasn't ready to face him yet, "That would work. About 7:00?"

Sheldon and Amy had finished eating and had put Steven down for a nap. Sheldon sat down in his usual spot, "I must say, I am not looking forward to this conversation."

"Aren't you looking forward to seeing Penny again?"

"Yes, but not under these circumstances. I have no desire to be reminded of what happened, let alone spend time discussing it."

"I do agree with you, but I also feel we need to try to understand what Penny is trying to do."

"I suppose. It is just that I wish she could let Leonard be. I think he really had accepted that he and Penny were through. Why did he have to accept that offer to go to that movie? He should have known he was just exposing himself to be hurt again. Then he compounded it by spending that time in New York. You would think that experience would have convinced him that Penny will never change."

"You are probably right, but there has always been something between them, an attraction. It seems the more they are driven apart, the more they are drawn together. It seems that fate will not let them be."

"You are too much of a romantic, Amy. I do not believe in any sort of fate. We have the freedom to choose. It is time Leonard and Penny made the final right choice."

They were interrupted by a knock on the door and Amy rose to let Penny in.

"Hello, Penny, come in."

"Thanks, Amy." Penny looked at Sheldon who had stood up when she entered. "Hello, Sheldon, it's been a long time."

"Yes, it has."

She headed toward him, "Do you think I could have a Sheldon hug?"

Sheldon hesitated then held out his arms as she quickly returned the hug.

As Penny stepped back and sat in Leonard's old chair, Sheldon continued, "May I get you a beverage?"

Penny smiled, "No, I am fine." She looked around, "Is your son here?"

Amy spoke up, "He is sleeping, would you like to see him?"

Penny got up, "I'd love to."

Amy took her into see him. When they returned, they sat back down and Penny spoke up, "He is so cute. He looks just like you, Sheldon."

Sheldon smiled, "That seems to be the prevalent opinion."

Amy spoke up, "I didn't tell you earlier today, Penny, but we are so proud of what you have accomplished." She smiled at Sheldon, "It even made Sheldon see something other than a Sci-fi movie."

Penny turned to Sheldon, "I am honored, Sheldon."

"Well, I was curious. I have to admit, you were more than adequate."

Penny smiled, "Coming from you, I will consider that high praise."

After a period of silence, Amy said, "What did you want to talk to us about?"

Penny took a deep breath, "I just wanted to tell you both how sorry I am for what I did. I know you probably cannot forgive me, but I need you to know how ashamed I am. Although it doesn't justify it in any way, I want to try to explain what I was going through, that what I did was entirely on me and that I had no real interest in Sheldon. I just wanted to hurt Leonard."

Amy spoke up, "Why, Penny, why would you want to hurt him? I would have thought that losing a child would have brought you closer together."

"It should have, Amy. But as usual I was only thinking of myself. I was so caught up in self-pity that I shut him out. I felt so guilty that I didn't think I was worthy of his love, that he would be better off without me."

"But why did you feel that way, Penny? You had done nothing wrong. Didn't Leonard let you know he didn't blame you?"

Penny hesitated; she wasn't sure how much she wanted to tell them. She wanted to only tell Leonard about what she had revealed to her parents. "I remembered how I hadn't wanted children, I felt that I was somehow to blame for what happened. I just felt like a failure as a wife and as a woman. I was afraid to become pregnant again."

After another hesitation, "I was so selfish, so worried about how I felt, that I never considered how Leonard felt." She started to tear up, "When he needed me the most, I turned my back on him."

There was a long silence. Amy was a little surprised. It seemed that Penny had done some soul-searching. She did seem contrite. But there was still something missing.

Amy finally broke the silence, "Why now, Penny? It has been four years. What took you so long to do this? What has changed?"

Penny wiped her eyes, "Until Leonard came back to my life, I made myself believe I had made the right decision. I still loved him but was convinced he was better off without me. I threw myself into my career and decided that was the life I was meant to live."

She took a deep breath, "When I saw him in Switzerland, I realized how much I missed him. But I still felt we were better apart. But then, when we ran into each other again, I knew how much I wanted to be with him. Some of it was the sex, but it was just so right to be with him."

"When he said he needed to leave, I was crushed, but still couldn't tell him we should get back together. I had just hurt him so many times."

She turned to Sheldon, "If you have some water, I would like some now."

After Sheldon got her a bottle and had returned to his seat, she took a big gulp.

Sheldon spoke up for the first time, "What makes you possibly believe you will not hurt him this time?"

Amy said quickly, "Sheldon!"

Penny waved her hand, "No, Amy, he's right." Facing Sheldon, "I know it will be hard for any of you to believe me. Some things have happened since I last saw him. For one thing, I went home and talked to my family. All I can tell you is that I firmly believe we belong together and that I will do whatever I can to bring us back together. Frankly, it could turn out that we will realize it is hopeless but I need to try."

Amy looked at Sheldon and then turned to Penny, "I am frankly doubtful whether it will work out, but I do believe that you two love each other. I won't speak for Sheldon, but I am willing to put the past behind me. I believe you when you say you are sorry about what happened. I would like for us to be friends again but it will take some time."

Before Penny could answer, Sheldon spoke up, "It is not easy for me to forget what you did. You used our friendship to hurt my best friend. But, if Amy is willing to try, I will try as well. I do miss our friendship."

Penny felt herself tearing up again, "Thank you both so much. I know I don't deserve another chance and I know I have a lot to prove and make up for."

Amy spoke up, "What are your plans now?"

Penny sighed, "I have to talk to Leonard. We have a lot of work to do. We have to be completely honest with each other, even if it means we will hurt each other. If it is possible, we need to both believe I will not betray him again."

Penny rose to her feet. "Thank you so much for taking time to talk to me. I am sure we will talk again before I leave."

She smiled and added, "I am so happy for you two. Goodnight."

Amy rose and gave her a hug and after Sheldon and Amy said goodnight, Sheldon added, "Good luck."

Penny smiled thankfully and left.

After closing the door, Sheldon said, "What do you think, Amy? Do they have a chance?"

"I don't know, Sheldon. I just hope Leonard doesn't rush back to her. I don't know how Penny can make him believe he can trust her. But as crazy as it sounds, I will still cheer for them. How about you, Sheldon?"

"I strangely find myself feeling the same." As Amy looked inquisitively at him, "They are my first real adult friends. I love them both. I know how much Leonard loves Penny. Nothing would make me happier if they can find some way to make it work."

Amy smiled at him, "What do you know, Sheldon Cooper is just an old softy." She said quietly, "I love you, Doctor Sheldon Cooper."

He smiled back, "I love you, too, Doctor Amy-Farrah-Fowler-Cooper."

They sat back on the sofa and she laid her head on his chest as he put his arm around her.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N Again a wonderful set of reviews. They are so important and enlightening to me. I still am just borrowing these characters. **

Leonard had put off calling Penny because frankly he was afraid of what would happen. He knew this was probably their last chance. It was strange, he wanted to be with her; now she was saying she wanted to be with him. So, what was the problem?

Was he that afraid of being hurt again? No, that he could face. He realized what he feared is that by getting back together, they were losing the chance of moving on, of finding someone. Or perhaps even worse, staying together even though they knew it wasn't working, ruining both their chances for happiness. Then there were their jobs. It was easy to say they would deal with that, but he knew how important and part of their lives their careers were.

Having said all that, the trouble was, he was happiest when he was with her. God, why was this so hard?

He finally worked up the courage to call her. They agreed to meet Saturday morning.

Penny stood outside Leonard's apartment, afraid to knock, knowing this was their last chance. She had started out with confidence, but her conversations with Bernadette and the others had made her realize how much she had hurt him, how she had treated him. She finally gathered her courage and knocked.

After he let her in and they were fortified with wine for her and water for him, there was an awkward silence. Finally, Penny took a deep breath and began.

"I don't know the best way to do this. I am so scared I'll screw it up. Maybe it is just best for me to tell you what I am feeling, how I felt about losing the baby, why I have decided we can be together."

With Leonard staying silent, she continued, "At the time I lost the baby, I felt like a failure. I had a deep sense of guilt. I wasn't exactly sure why I felt that way. I accepted the fact that it was something that was not unusual and that there was nothing I could do. But I was deeply bothered that I had not wanted a baby and could not stop thinking that I had somehow caused it."

She took a sip, "It seems so wrong now but I wanted you to be mad at me, to let me know how I disappointed you. Instead you just told me it was okay, that you loved me. I know that should have helped me but for some reason it made me feel less worthy, that I wasn't deserving of it. I was just so filled with self-pity. When you said we could try again, it scared me, I couldn't stand the thought of failing again."

She took another breath, "When I visited my parents, my sister said something that brought back a memory that I had suppressed. I realized the real reason I had felt so guilty, so worthless."

She took another drink and looked into his eyes, "I remembered that when I learned I had lost the baby, I was relieved, I was glad my baby was dead."

She saw the shock in his face as he took his eyes from hers. Fighting not to tear up, she hurried on, "Because of how I felt, I knew you deserved someone better, someone who was worthy of your love. I got the stupid idea I needed to hurt you enough so you would let me go. To let you know how I was not worthy of your love."

"That guy I cheated with didn't mean anything to me. Hell, I don't even remember his name. Then when you forgave me for that, all I could think of was hurting you more. I never felt anything for Sheldon, I just wanted to hurt you so you would know I didn't deserve you."

Seeing he was ready to talk, she hurried on. "When you came to Switzerland, I realized I still loved you. It was so wonderful to be with you. And then those days in New York…"

"But I decided nothing had changed, that I still felt I didn't deserve you. That I wasn't what you needed."

She finished off her glass, "After you had left, I had some symptoms and wondered if I was pregnant. When the test came back negative, I was stunned and pleased that I was disappointed to the point I cried. I realized that I did want your baby, even if it would have been a bad time for my career."

"I was so happy. I felt that I could now be what you needed, that I could give you what you deserved. That's when I decided we deserved another chance."

She took a deep breath and again spoke before he could, "When I talked to Bernadette and Sheldon and Amy, I realized I had never thought of something very important, how this all affected you. It was all about me, about my feelings, my guilt. I never thought how what I was doing to you. I never gave a thought about how deeply you were hurt by losing a child. God, I really was worthless. When you needed me the most, I turned my back on you, I cheated on you."

In spite of telling herself she wouldn't do it, she started to cry, "I don't know if you can ever forgive me or trust me enough for us to try again, but I believe we still love each other and that we do make each other happy."

She reached out and took his hands, "Can we try again? I love you, Leonard, more than anything. Please give us another chance."

As she released her hands, Leonard sat stunned by what he had heard. It had always bothered him when she was upset and was relieved when she pulled herself together. When she had said how she felt when she realized the baby was dead, it had shaken him to the core. He could see how deeply that would affect her, how it could cause such guilt. He felt he could understand how she would feel unworthy of his love. As difficult as it was, he could perhaps even understand how his trying to help by letting her know how much he loved her could have actually made her feel worse.

He could see how her believing she now wanted to be pregnant, to have children, would have made her feel she could be with him.

But as shocking as all that had been, it really didn't change anything. He had suspected something like that was bothering her and had forgiven her for a long time. After all, he had continued to love her and want to be with her even after that first cheating. He had correctly taken that as a sign for help.

It was also true that when they had met in Switzerland and later in New York, he had felt he wanted them to get back together. But even then, there was something he felt he was missing. That was the reason he had left early, that something was wrong.

Now, after hearing what the others had said, he realized he had known the real reason they had broken up. He had not wanted to admit it, to face it. Ironically, it was not because of the loss of the baby directly. That tragedy had just torn open what had always been a problem between them.

It had been exposed the first time he told her loved her. When she had eventually said it back, they fooled themselves that it had been put behind them. But the truth was, Penny had never really given herself completely to him. She had never fully committed to them being together. She had always been careful to keep part of herself safe. Whenever something threatened them, she withdrew from him. He always had to drag how she felt out of her. She always sought to protect herself, to concentrate on her feelings and her needs. Not only wouldn't she let him help her by sharing her concerns with him, she often gave no thought to his concerns at all. She let herself believe that she was doing him a favor, that she was doing some noble thing, shutting him out.

There was also their careers. That would be a problem in any case, but the way Penny hid what she was feeling…

Penny wiped at her eyes, wondering what Leonard was thinking. She poured herself another glass and taking a big gulp, beginning to feel more and more worried as he continued to not say anything.

Leonard finally gathered himself. He could not believe what he was about to say, but it was best for both of them.

"Penny, I am so sorry about what you went through. I cannot imagine how difficult it must have been for you. It bothers me that I could not help you, to have somehow made you feel better. It probably means nothing now, but I don't think your feelings were as awful as you believed. I have a feeling many others have felt the same."

"I wish you would have opened up either to me or your other friends, to let us try to help, to not keep it all locked inside."

He took a deep breath and lifted his eyes to hers, "Penny, I don't know exactly how to say this. No, it's that I don't want to say this."

"Penny, I think I know why we have always struggled."

He paused again, "Penny, you have never committed yourself to me. You have always held something back. You have always been more concerned about how things affect you rather than how they affect us. You have often not given any thought to how I feel. I don't know if you are afraid of giving yourself completely to me or maybe just don't trust me." He paused, "Maybe it is just us, who we are."

"You're right. When we lost the baby, when I needed you the most, I felt you pulling away. It should have brought us together, instead it tore us apart."

He began to tear up, "I'm sorry, Penny, I am so sorry, but I don't think we belong together. Whether it's me or you, there is something missing between us. As happy as you make me, as much as I'll miss you, as much as I love you, we both deserve more. I know now I need something more."

Penny was crushed, she couldn't believe what she was hearing. She wanted to scream at him that he was wrong. That she was committed to him, that they belonged together. But at the same time, she knew he was right. She realized she had been avoiding facing the truth ever since Bernadette had pointed it out. She thought back to all the times they had struggled. She had always done what was necessary to try to protect herself, never allowing Leonard in, never giving them a chance to work it out.

So, when a real crisis had happened, when her love was tested, she had failed. It had been easier to wallow in self-pity then to open herself to Leonard. What had she been afraid of? There had to have been something wrong with her, something that had prevented her from giving herself completely to him. Had she not trusted him? Maybe she had always felt, deep down, that she wasn't right for him. Maybe she believed what everyone said.

It was probably also true that Leonard's background had caused him to find it difficult to believe she really loved him. Maybe she just wasn't capable of giving him what he needed.

She remembered that conversation with Raj about romance when he told her she had never had to work at it, that men just were attracted to her, that she had gotten by on her looks.

Maybe deep down, she still felt that was why Leonard was with her. That he would not otherwise be interested in her. Maybe she was just afraid of being hurt. Afraid he would see her for what she was. She realized in a way she had always felt that way, that she was liked largely because of her looks.

After all, she had thought that she loved Kurt and that he loved her, but then he had betrayed her. She remembered what Beverly had said, that her self-worth depended on how others viewed her.

She sighed, Hell, maybe this was all for the best. She just needed to accept what was. Accept that love may not be for her. She was a movie star. She could have all the men she wanted.

Leonard was right. She couldn't commit herself to him. Trying to think she could had just caused them both pain.

She looked at him. In spite of what they both now knew, she felt herself tearing up. She knew she would miss him dearly, but she wasn't what he needed.

But then her mind screamed NO! GOD DAMMIT! NO! That may have been me then, but I am different now, I understand so much more about me, about us. I am not going to give up on us. I am not going to have it end like this.

Taking a deep breath, "Leonard." She fought the tears, "Everything you say is true. You have every right to think what you do. But I believe it is different now. I understand more about me, about us. I do know that we are good together, that we do love each other, that I am happier with you than without you. We knew this would not be easy, that we would likely hurt each other. But I still want to give us every chance. We agreed not to make any decision now, but to wait while I went off to do my picture."

Leonard sighed. She was right he had agreed, but he now felt it would just be more time for them to fool themselves, more time to hurt each other. Something to stop them both from moving on.

He finally said, "I know I agreed, Penny, but I just think we will be fooling ourselves. I frankly do not want to keep living this false hope. How long will this go on?"

"Once we start shooting, about three to four months. It will be a couple of months before we start."

Seeing the look on his face, she added, "How about this? Give it four months from today. If nothing has changed, I promise I will let it go." She looked in his eyes, "Just four months, Leonard. Can't we spare that after all we have been through together? Please, Leonard, give us this last chance."

Leonard knew he should say no, but she was right, he had agreed to try.

"Alright, Penny, four months. But I don't think anything will change."

Penny smiled, "Thank you, Leonard. But don't give up on us yet."

Seeing her smile, Leonard had to smile back. He realized he was glad she had convinced him to think some more. Then he berated himself, God, wouldn't he ever learn?

Penny's good mood didn't last long. She knew she had bought some time, but it was highly likely this was the end.

They both sat awkwardly for a time, neither knowing what to do next.

Finally, Penny rose. "I should probably be going. We both have a lot to think about." She suddenly felt herself tearing up, realizing this could be the last time she saw would ever see him. She now wished she hadn't said they would not have sex. But she also knew that was for the best. It would just make it harder to leave afterwards.

Leonard rose with her. He felt a deep well of sadness. He knew he needed to move on, but he still loved her. At least the four months would enable them both to perhaps gain some closure. Maybe they could somehow be friends again…

"I guess you're right." Then he felt himself tearing up, "I will miss you, Penny. I do love you."

Penny began to cry, "I love you too, Leonard. If it doesn't work out, I hope you find someone that deserves you."

Leonard move forward and hugged her, which she returned as they both were crying.

He pulled back and finding a smile, "Goodbye, Penny. I hope the same for you. Good luck with your movie."

Wiping her tears, she managed to say, "Thank you. Goodbye, Leonard, take care."

She stood for a moment, not wanting to leave, thinking there should be something more to say. But then she turned and left without looking back.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N Thank you for your reviews. They really are important to me and help me to see how my story is perceived. As I have often said, I am sure they affect me more that I even realize.**

**I still own nothing. **

Somehow, Penny made it back to her hotel room before she let it all go. Falling on her bed, she cried until she had no more tears. Finally, she got up and took a shower and changed clothes. She took a couple beers from the room refrigerator and sat in a chair.

She realized now that in spite of the fact she had told herself not to be disappointed, she had convinced herself this was going to work out. That she would go off to her movie feeling confident about her and Leonard.

Now she was completely crushed. Oh, she had got him agree to four months, but what really could she do to convince him. It was clear he just didn't trust her to stand by him, to be there when he needed her.

And why should he? Again and again, she had taken the option of turning inward, of shutting him out. What could she possible do to convince him she had changed? The sad thing was, she did truly believe she was different. She did feel she had gained a deeper understanding of who she was and felt she could be what he needed.

She had tried to tell him how, after hearing what he, Amy, and Bernadette had said, she understood what she had done and what she needed to do. But it appeared she would never get the chance. Without something comparable happening to what had happened in the past, how could they know if she would act differently?

She could fully understand he didn't want to wait until something happened. He could not take the risk, he needed to move on.

She didn't intend to give up. She would keep in contact and continue to try to convince him that she had changed, that she could be what he needed, but she had little hope it would succeed. There was also a slim chance he would come to believe it on his own, but that was probably a wishful dream.

She finished up the two beers and wondered what she should do now. Was there any reason to hang around? Should she try to talk to him again? What more could they say?

No, she needed to give it some time. She also needed to get ready to leave for her movie. She decided she would contact him after she returned to her apartment.

She should say goodbye to Bernadette and the others before she left. She wondered if any of them could help her convince Leonard. She smirked; it was more likely they would support him.

Deciding she didn't want to think anymore, and discovering she was exhausted, she laid down and soon dozed off.

When she awoke a few hours later, she talked to Bernadette, Sheldon and Amy. She told them what had happened. Although they all expressed their sadness that it hadn't worked out, she sensed they were not surprised. After telling them goodbye and that she would keep in touch, she decided she should make one more call. She felt guilty she had not called him earlier, but he was the one person she did not think she had directly hurt.

Figuring he would hear everything from the others, she just told Raj she had been in town and that she was leaving for her next picture. She could tell he wanted to see her and was a little hurt she hadn't called before; but she did not want to discuss anything with him. Saying she would keep in touch, she said goodbye.

She packed what she wouldn't need for the night and sat down on the bed. Before calling the airport, she wanted to be sure there was nothing she could do before she left. After going over everything again, she was about to call, when an absolutely absurd and crazy idea hit her. She was quickly dismissing it from her mind when she strangely suddenly remembered what the dwarf had said in _Lord of the Rings._

'_Certainty of death, small chance of success, what are we waiting for?'_

She couldn't believe she was actually considering this. Sheldon could probably give her the exact odds of this succeeding, but she knew they were likely slim and none. She also had a feeling she was not facing up to the full consequences of what she was contemplating.

But, Hell, maybe that's what this situation called for. At least she would go down fighting.

Still not quite believing what she was about to do, she called the airport and obtained a ticket to New York for early the next morning. Discovering she was hungry, she ordered room service for supper and a bottle of wine.

Finishing off the wine, she got ready for bed and mercifully fell asleep. The next morning, she found herself excitedly waiting for the hotel shuttle. She realized she did want to try this, even if it was probably doomed to failure. She now could not wait to get to New York.

She had a lot of work to do!

It took all of Leonard's willpower not to run after her, to tell her it was all right, that they could be together. He couldn't believe he had given up a chance to have her back. All the days and nights he had dreamed of her, of them.

But even as he berated himself, he knew he what he had done was necessary, not only for him but for her. After all, she had also been deeply hurt after the miscarriage. Whatever the reasons, they had not been able to help each other.

Suddenly he felt the tears come. He cried for himself, for her, for them.

After a while, he pulled himself together. He decided he wasn't ready to talk to anyone and called up a Star Trek DVD, hoping it would take his mind off what had happened. Although it didn't completely work, he did make it through the afternoon.

After it finished, he was wondering what he should do next, when there was a knock on the door. He opened it to see it was Bernadette.

She spoke up, "Hey, Leonard. We all wanted you to know that Penny called us and told us what happened." She hesitated and then said, "We are all so sorry, Leonard, that it didn't work out." She moved forward and gave him a quick hug, "Everyone is over at 4A. We got Chinese, why don't you join us?"

Leonard realized that sounded good to him. Telling her yes, they headed over to Sheldon's and Amy's apartment.

The others had bought Raj up to speed and they all decided they would wait for Leonard to bring it up. When he realized they were not going to say anything, Leonard gratefully enjoyed a pleasant meal and evening with everyone.

After the others had left, Amy asked him, "How are you doing, Leonard? Can we do anything to help?"

Leonard smiled at her, "I am still a little numb. I know I did the right thing, but that doesn't stop it from hurting."

Sheldon spoke up, "Do you want to spend the night here?"

"No, thank you, but I'll be fine."

Amy interjected, "We'll see you tomorrow. If you need any of us for anything, we are all here for you."

"Thanks again, Guys, I may take you up on that later."

They exchanged goodnights and Leonard returned to his apartment.

He was afraid he wouldn't be able to sleep, but found he was exhausted from all that had happened.

For the next week, Leonard concentrated again on work, spending long hours at the lab. Amy insisted that he spend time with them and he was grateful for their support.

He wondered if he should call Penny, but decided he would wait and see for a while, hoping she would call him. For the first couple nights, he had again doubted his decision, but as time passed, he felt more comfortable with it.

After working Saturday morning at the lab, not wanting to dwell on the fact it was a week since his talk with Penny, he stepped off the elevator and almost ran into Sandi.

She smiled at him, "Hi, Lenny. It's good to see you. I stopped by a couple of time but you weren't home."

"I have been busy at work." He moved away from her, but she followed after him, "Do you mind if I come in for a moment, there is something I would like to discuss with you."

Leonard wanted to say no, but decided he had no good reason to avoid her.

When they were in the apartment, Sandi began, "Since our last talk, I realize I really do like you. Is there any chance we could go out? I was hoping you might be free now."

Leonard was surprised but then wondered if it might be a good idea to get out and have some fun. He also had to admit he would like to spend some time with Sandi. But then he thought of Penny and the four months. Would this go against what he had agreed on?

Sandi looked at him, she sensed something was bothering him and she had an idea who was causing it. Gathering her courage, "Are you all right, Lenny, you seem sad? Does all this have something to do with Penny Lawrence?"

Leonard was caught off guard, he knew he should just say no, it was none of Sandi's business. But he probably owed her some kind of explanation.

His deciding what to do had taken too long and Sandi went on, "I thought so. What's going on between you two? Is she bothering you?"

For a moment, Leonard wanted to tell her everything but knew he wasn't ready for that. "It is between Penny and me. We are still trying to work something out." He looked in her eyes, "As much as I would like to go with out you, I need to get this settled."

Sandi found herself getting a little angry, she wasn't used to being turned down; but then she realized she really didn't know what was going on.

"Alright, Lenny. I will leave you alone for now, but I warn you, I can be awfully persistent when it concerns something I want. Just be sure I am the first to know when you do get whatever it is all straightened out."

Leonard smiled sadly, "I really do like you, Sandi, and I assure you that you will be the first to know."

Sandi nodded and then without warning, thrust herself against him and gave him a passionate kiss.

She stepped back, and seeing the look on his face, "Just to let you know what you are missing."

As the first month passed by, Leonard was resigning himself to the fact that nothing was going to happen. No one had heard from Penny and when anyone called, they just got voicemail.

He had slowed down a little at work and was returning home on a Friday night. When he tried the elevator, he found it was held up somewhere. As he reached the third floor, he was stunned and found himself trying to catch his breath as he looked ahead to apartment 3B.

The door was open and Penny was standing there, dressed the same as she was sixteen years before. As he stood there gaping, wondering if he was hallucinating, she turned and seeing him; smiled and said, "Hi."


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N Wow, thanks for the great reviews. I really love the input and ideas. I still own nothing.**

For** a** moment, Penny was worried for him, but then saw he was breathing normally again. She couldn't believe how well it had worked out; she had waited in the lobby until she saw him coming and then rode the elevator. She had then held it up so he would have to take the stairs.

When she said, "Hi," he finally seemed to recover and said, "Penny, what…?" but she interrupted and said, "You say, "Hi," and then I say, "Hi, I'm Penny," and then you say Hi again and your name."

Leonard, still a little stunned, "Hi?"

"Hi, I'm Penny."

Leonard stared at her but he shrugged and said "Hi, I'm Leonard."

"Glad to meet you, Leonard, are you visiting someone?"

Wondering where this was going, but deciding to play along, "No, I live on top of you. Not on top of you, in 4B."

"Well, then I guess we are neighbors."

She reached behind her and held up a bag, "I ordered Indian food, but I have too much for just me. Would you like to share it with me? After all, Indian food is good for the colon."

"Yeah, I'd like that."

"Could we eat in your apartment, mine is pretty messy?"

As Leonard nodded, Penny closed her door and they headed for the stairs. Suddenly, Penny stopped and said, "Almost forgot." She went over and released the elevator.

As they went up the stairs, Leonard said, "Okay, Penny, what is going on? What are you doing in 3B?"

"I thought it was obvious, I am moving in."

"You know what I mean."

"You are awfully nosy for someone I just met."

Leonard stopped and grabbed her arm, "That's enough. Why are you here?"

"As I said, I am moving in. The first time I did we got together, but I ended up messing it up. So, I figured we would start over and see if we can do it better this time."

"You plan on reliving the whole twelve years?"

"I kind of hoped we could speed it up this time."

"Penny, we agreed to give each other four months. Not only that, you have a movie to do. Do you expect to redo twelve years in a month?"

"Actually, I have a one-year lease. As far as the movie, I thought I would give an opportunity to some aspiring actor." She smiled ruefully, "But it looks like Kaley Cuoco is going to get the part."

As Penny started back up the stairs, Leonard stared at her, "You gave up your movie?"

"I think that's what I just said."

"Can you do that? Won't you get in trouble? Will it hurt your career?"

"I got a talking to from my agent and the producer. And the lawyers ran up some billing time going back and forth. But in the end, my agent didn't want to lose me as a client and I agreed to do two pictures in the future for the producer. As for my career, I am an Oscar winner and I have a good reputation for being a professional. I suppose I could maybe miss out on a part here or there but I think I'll be fine."

As Leonard moved to catch up with her, his mind was reeling. She had given up a movie role? Whatever she said, he had a feeling this was not good for her career. He then thought, she did this for me. She must really love me. But then he took a deep breath. He needed to be careful. This was a big step, but it didn't mean everything had changed, that everything was solved.

As they reached the apartment, Leonard opened the door and allowed her to pass through.

Penny sat the bag on the table and was gratified to see he had a white board, but realized it just had a grocery list on it.

Undaunted, she walked over to it and said with a little awe in her voice, "Leonard, is this your board?"

In spite of himself Leonard had to simile. He walked over and said, "Yes, that's mine."

"Wow, this is impressive, what is all this?"

Leonard, now smiling broadly, "Well, that says Soy Milk, and this stuff on the edges concerns a loaf of bread."

"You must be one of those beautiful mind guys."

"I am."

Penny headed back over to the couch and sat down.

Deciding he could play too, Leonard said, "That's my spot!"

Penny jumped a little, and then glared at him, "Very funny, Hofstadter," but her eyes were twinkling.

As they handed out the food and Leonard got them some water, he sat down in the chair.

Penny went on, "So, Leonard, what do you do for excitement around here?"

"Well, my neighbor and I recently played a game of Klingon Boggle."

"Klingon Boggle?"

"Yeah, it's like Boggle, but in Klingon… That's enough about me, why don't you tell me a little about yourself?"

"Okay, let's see. I am a Sagittarius. That probably tells you most of what you need to know."

"I am a vegetarian, but I LOVE steak."

"I grew up on a farm in Nebraska. I came to California to be an actress, but in four years of trying, all I have to show for it is seven films, a nomination for an Oscar for supporting actress, and an Oscar for best actress."

Leonard smirked, "I am sure it will pick up."

"I know, right."

Then she started to tear up and Leonard could see she was not faking, "Then I fell in love and was married to a great guy, but I screwed it up."

She looked up at him, "But I still really love him, is that crazy?"

She then stood up and walked away. Not sure what to do, he finally went over to her, "No, it's not crazy, I bet he still loves you too."

Dabbing her eyes, "You think so?"

Smiling fondly at her, "I know so."

"I'm sorry to lay this on you. It's just that I am tired from moving in and my shower doesn't work…"

"My shower works."

"Really, do you think it would be weird if I used it?"

"No, it's through the bedroom."

"Thank you, Leonard, you really are a sweet guy."

As he watched her walk into the bedroom, Leonard wondered where she was going with this. He was amazed at the effort she was making. Then, he smirked to himself, how was she going to handle the others? How about Sheldon? He knew now he had to go along for the ride.

As he waited, he found himself wondering if she would come out and whether or not she would be wearing a towel. Unfortunately, that made him think of Sandi and wondered what she would think about Penny moving in and what Penny would think about Sandi.

He decided there wasn't anything he could do about that situation for the moment. His thoughts were interrupted when Penny come out wearing a towel. They went through the motions of pretending to fix the shower. As before, she threw the towel aside as she entered the shower, but this time she somehow mistimed it and he clearly saw her nude.

She then said, "Leonard, could you do me a favor?"

"Yeah, I can do that."

"Are your sure, it's not something you would normally ask someone you just met."

Now wondering where this was going, Leonard said, "Okaay."

"I have some furniture coming tomorrow and I wonder if you could let the delivery man into my apartment?"

Leonard had to smile to himself, "Sure, I can do that."

"Great, make sure I give you my extra key."

As Leonard moved back into the living room, Sheldon knocked on the door. Leonard had to smile, 'well, it looks like things may get interesting'.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N Thanks again for your reviews. I really do read and contemplate what you say. As I have said before, they undoubtedly influence me more than I realize. I still own nothing. **

Leonard called out for Sheldon to come in. Sheldon started to speak when he saw the Indian food containers, "What's this, Leonard? Everyone is waiting for you to eat with us and I find you have eaten already."

Just then, Penny came out, having put her same clothes back on, "Thank you, Leonard, I…" Then she saw Sheldon. She hesitated for a moment and then smiled and said, "Oh, Hi. I'm Penny, I am moving in downstairs. Are you a friend of Leonard's?"

Leonard had to smile at the look on Sheldon's face. It seemed for the moment he was speechless, but then he recovered, "Penny, what are you doing here? I thought you were off on a movie somewhere."

Penny turned to Leonard, "He's a little strange, isn't he? Could you introduce me, Leonard?"

Leonard smiled, "Penny, this is Dr. Sheldon Cooper, Sheldon, this is our new neighbor, Penny. Penny, Sheldon and his wife Amy live across the hall."

Penny smiled, "Glad to meet you, Sheldon." She turned to Leonard, "Thanks again, Leonard. I'll bring you that key later." With that she swept past a staring Sheldon.

Sheldon finally got out, "Oh, what new madness is this?"

Leonard laughed, "Let's go join the others and I'll tell you what I know."

After Leonard explained to the others, they all absorbed it for a few minutes. Then Bernadette spoke up, "So she actually just kissed off a movie."

Leonard answered, "That's what she said."

Amy broke in, "It does show she really does want to do what she can to try to get you back."

"I know, and I am impressed. But I still think I need to be careful. It still doesn't mean that all the things that made me decide we shouldn't get married again don't still exist."

Bernadette continued, "I wonder what she is planning. What events is she going to recreate? Would any of them be enough to change your mind?"

Leonard smiled ruefully, "I don't know." He then looked at the others, "I guess I am willing to try. Can you guys go along with this?"

They looked at each other. Finally, they looked at Sheldon. He sighed and said, "If you are all going to go along with this insanity, I will try to play along. I am not sure what we are supposed to do though."

Just as Leonard told them he appreciated it, there was a knock on the door. When Sheldon answered it, Penny was standing there.

"Hi, Sheldon. I just wondered if Leonard happened to be here. She then saw him and smiling said, "I just came by to give you the key."

Noticing the others, she said, "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt."

Leonard got up and took the key. Then he smiled and said, "No, it's okay. These are some friends of ours. That's Howard and Bernadette Wolowitz, you know Sheldon and this is his wife Amy. And that's our friend Rajesh Koothrappali."

"Everyone, this is Penny, she's moving into 3B."

Everyone smiled and exchanged greetings. Then Raj asked, "Penny, just to check. Can I talk to women?"

Penny laughed and smiled, "Yeah, Raj, in this universe, you can talk. Also everyone stays married and your kids all exist."

She then turned back to Leonard, "The delivery men will be here between three and five. I told them to ring your apartment. I hope that was okay."

"That's fine, Penny."

"Well, I have to go, nice to meet you all."

As she turned to leave, Amy called after her, "Since you will be our neighbor, I wonder if we could get together and get better acquainted. Maybe have a girl's night?"

Penny smiled, "That sounds like fun. Let's exchange numbers."

After they finished, Penny left.

The other looked at each other, and Howard spoke up, "Well that was weird." He smirked, "You should have been quiet, Raj, I could have tried to hit on her."

Bernadette hit him in the shoulder. Then she asked Leonard, "What was that about the delivery men?"

"She is apparently going to recreate when Sheldon and I took an entertainment center up to her room." He smiled at Sheldon, "At least this time we have an elevator."

Sheldon nodded and then said, "I wonder if she plans on me cleaning her room again."

Leonard smiled, "I don't think that would be necessary." But then he hesitated, "I suppose it would show we are getting into it."

Sheldon smiled, "Good, because you know how much I enjoy it."

With the elevator working, the delivery men took the package all the way to Penny's apartment. When Sheldon and Leonard were left alone, they wryly noted that Penny had left the room in the same condition she had the first time. Since it was all furnished, they decided she must have done her moving before she set up the encounter with Leonard.

Just as they were leaving, Penny came in and Leonard was happy to see Sheldon and Penny create a similar conversation to the original one.

That night, Leonard and Sheldon found themselves straightening up her apartment. They both jumped when they heard a voice say, "Whatcha doing?"

They looked over and saw Penny standing there smiling broadly.

Sheldon spoke up, "You could have given us a heart attack. Aren't you supposed to be sleeping?"

"I'm sorry, but I just couldn't resist. Just pretend I was sleepwalking." She went on, "Actually, I wanted to tell you we don't need to have everyone come over tomorrow." She smiled, "And Sheldon, you don't need to apologize and tell me what a wonderful and gentle lover Leonard is. I already know that."

Then she smiled, "I just want you to know how much I appreciate how you guys are working with me."

She teared up a little, "God, I love you all so much."

Then she went back into her bedroom.

Leonard and Sheldon finished up and went up to the fourth floor. Outside Leonard's door, Sheldon, said, "I know you have to be careful, but I find myself hoping this crazy thing works out."

Leonard smiled, "Thanks, Sheldon, I really appreciate that."

"Well, goodnight, Leonard."

"Goodnight, Sheldon."

The next day as she assembled the entertainment center, Penny thought about how to proceed. There were two main scenarios that she knew she wanted to recreate. Two scenarios that would have a different ending. But as she thought about it, she wondered if she could replace one of them with another encounter. The good thing was it would be much easier to recreate.

But before she would be ready for those, she had a few other objectives in mind. She needed to find some instances where she had not treated him the best, where she had tended to well, emasculate him a little. She knew she had thought of it as bantering with him, but looking back, she realized it may have hurt him a little. She would have to think harder on that.

The real problem was, she had still not come up with a way to show him that she would be different when something really bad happened. She had thought of recreating the miscarriage, but there was too much pain involved in reliving that. She could try to create some other scenario, but it would still be made up and the emotions would not be real.

Oh well, she would just go forward with what she had and hope somehow she could show him that she had changed.

She decided she would start with the Halloween party. That had been the first time, even though she was drunk, that she had shown some interest in him. This time she would not be so tipsy. She also could have given him more credit on how he had stood up to Kurt.

One thing, it shouldn't be that hard to set up. She just needed a few extras and a couple of actors she knew.

The next morning Penny decided she had better make sure that she could get they guys to participate before she called around to get the people she would need. She headed up the stairs to the fourth floor. She was heading for Leonard's door when she saw Sandi come down the stairs.

Sandi was headed for Leonard's door when she was stunned to see Penny apparently having the same idea. She turned and confronted her, "What are you doing here? What do you want with Leonard? Does this have something to do with you losing out on that movie?"

"Sandi isn't it? I really don't see where any of that is your business."

Sandi walked over to her, "It is my business because I am interested in Leonard and don't want him to be hurt. Apparently, you and he have some issues. You had your chance with him, now why don't you leave him alone? I am sure you can find some good-looking stud to keep you company."

Penny was wondering if she should go all Nebraska on her, but realized she appeared to really care for Leonard. For a fleeting moment she wondered if she should give up, let Leonard get on with his life. Was there really a chance they would get back together? But she just as quickly rejected that; she had changed, she loved Leonard and he loved her. They should be together.

She smiled, "Sandi, do you have a few minutes? I think we should talk."

Sandi looked surprised and then suspicious but decided she was curious about what Penny wanted to say. "All right, why don't we go up to my apartment?"

Penny followed her up. When they went in, Penny had to smile to herself. It was apparent Sandi could use a visit from Sheldon. Moving some stuff around, Sandi made room on the couch. She asked, "Can I get you something?"

"Wine, if you have it."

Sandi brought over a bottle and a couple glasses. After they each filled their glasses and took a sip, Sandi looked expectantly at Penny.

Penny took a deep breath, "You're right, I screwed up my chance with Leonard. But we recently were thrown back together and I have come to realize I still love him and he loves me." She took a sip, "We broke up because I didn't trust him, because I left him out. I really believe though that I have changed. We have both agreed we want to see if there is still a possibility we can get back together. I gave up the movie and came here so I could try."

Sandi was stunned. She had never expected to have Penny open up like this. She couldn't imagine missing out on a chance to be in a movie because of a man. She knew she would do almost anything to be where Penny was, to have accomplished what she did.

"God, Penny, you must really want this. What's the hell is the matter with Leonard? Any man I know would jump at the chance to be with you."

Penny had to smile to herself, "It may seem that way, but Leonard is really special. He is one of the most loving and kindest men I ever met. And of course, he is brilliant. Believe me, I hurt him badly. He needs to know I will be there when he needs me again."

Sandi still wasn't sure she understood, but it was apparent Penny was being open and sincere. It was all so romantic. "I am still not sure I get it, but I won't get in the way." She smiled, "In fact, if there is anything I can do, let me know."

Penny smiled, "Thanks, Sandi. I may take you up on that." She hesitated, "If it doesn't work out, you should give it a shot. I think you might be good for each other."

"Thanks, Penny." She took a breath, "If you have time, I would be honored if you caught my act. Maybe there might be a part for me in one of your pictures."

Penny smiled, "I'll probably be pretty busy, but I'll keep both the act and you in mind."

"That's great! Thank you."

Penny finished her glass as she got up, "Well, I better go. Thanks for listening."

"Your welcome and good luck."

Penny nodded and left.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N Thanks again for your reviews. Your thoughts and input are so important to me. These wonderful characters do not belong to me. **

She left Sandi, a little surprised how well it had gone. Of course, she didn't know Sandi that well, she might just have said what Penny wanted to hear. She did seem to be determined to get some kind of a role.

She talked to the guys and set up the "Halloween " party for the next Saturday; telling them she would let them know if she had any problems getting it ready. She told Howard and Raj they really didn't have to come but Howard said he wouldn't miss it and Raj smirked and said he had sex after the original.

Penny told him she really doubted that would happen again but they were both welcome.

It turned out she was able to get the extras and actors in place. She knew she would have a tough time explaining what she was doing but they didn't mind getting a little extra work. The most important role was Kurt and she had been in a couple movies with Tom Carter who would play him.

It was a little difficult recreating that awful cat costume. She wondered what ever possessed her to wear something like that.

Everyone showed up and Tom said he had his part down. She was glad she knew him because it was possible he was going to have to adlib some of it depending on what Leonard and she remembered.

She had only hired four extras and one other speaking part, but decided it would suffice. She had decided also it was no big deal that the other "guests' would be there when the guys arrived.

She had warned the extras they might get hit on but to just ride with it, telling them these were all really nice guys and were expecting to be rejected.

When the guys arrived, she was gratified to see they were wearing the same costumes.

They all sat on the couch and she could tell they were wondering what they should do. She finally gave them a hint to start walking around and had to laugh when she saw Howard using some old lines. If Bernadette saw him she would probably not recognize him.

After only about an half hour, she had "Kurt" come in.

She could tell Tom was not really comfortable in that goofy outfit Kurt had worn, but he did have the body for it. After giving him a hug, she saw Sheldon and Leonard come over. Penny was soon glad that Tom was a good sport and flexible because it went slightly different. She realized she may have not remembered exactly what was said.

Leonard spoke up first, "Hi, Penny."

"Hi, Leonard, Hi, Sheldon, are you guys having a good time?"

"Yeah, thanks for inviting us."

"You remember Kurt, don't you?"

"Yes, Hi, Kurt."

"Lenny, isn't it?"

"Well, I don't usually go by that…"

"So, what are you supposed to be, an elf?"

"No, I am a hobbit, who is a mortal inhabitant of the shire, while an elf is a tall, immortal warrior."

"Then, why would you want to be a Hobbit?"

Sheldon interjected, "Because he is neither tall nor immortal and none of us could be the Flash."

"Whatever. And you're a zebra, right?"

Sheldon whispered to Leonard, "Another child left behind."

Leonard snickered, but Tom went on, "Okay, now why don't you two move along? I am talking to Penny."

Leonard answered, "We are all talking to Penny."

Sheldon interrupted again, "I'm not." Turning to Penny, "No offense."

Tom ruffled Leonard's hair and said, "Why don't you go off on a quest or something?"

"I know you want to use your animalistic puffery to attempt to intimidate me, since I am obviously more intelligent."

"Are you calling me a puffy animal?"

Penny jumped in, proud she remembered her line, "No, he's not. You're not, right, Leonard"

"No. After all we are all animals, just some of us are higher on the evolutionary ladder."

Sheldon whispered again, "If he understands that, you are in trouble."

Tom pretended to be upset, "You are saying I am unevolved?"

Sheldon whispered again, "You're in trouble."

They had been doing great if not perfect up to now, but now it started to get off track.

Tom went with, "You're just getting me pissed now."

Sheldon knew it wasn't going exactly right, and decided to move it toward the end, "I want to remind you, Leonard, that although I have your back, I will be of no use in a confrontation."

Leonard, wondering how he had been so crazy to talk like this to Kurt, "Don't worry, there's not going to be a confrontation. I doubt if he can even spell confrontation."

Tom was pretty sure they had left something out, but took that as his cue. "He quickly picked Leonard up, "C O N… frontation."

Penny said her lines and hoped Leonard wouldn't get to freaked out by the changes she had made, "Put him down, Kurt, now!"

"He started it!"

"Well I am finishing it, put him down."

To Leonard's dismay and wondering what was going to happen, Tom answered, "No, you heard what he called me. I am going to mess him up a little."

Just then one of the men came up to them, Jerry was also Kurt size, "You heard Penny, put him down."

Tom glared at him for a moment, but then dropped Leonard, "You're a lucky little leprechaun, you know that?"

Sheldon, who had been as shocked as Leonard, was a little slow, but got it out, "He's a Hobbit, a Hobbit." He turned to Leonard; "I got your back."

Penny spoke up, "Kurt, I want you to leave."

Tom acted like he was going to argue, but looked at Leonard's rescuer and went out the door.

Jerry then turned to Leonard, "Are you all right?"

Leonard, recovering, "Yeah, I'm fine."

Jerry smiled and said, "I'd like to shake your hand. I thought it was great how you put that jerk in his place. I just hope I never have you cut me apart like that."

Still a little stunned, Leonard shook his hand.

Jerry turned to leave as Penny said, "Thanks, Jerry."

"No problem, Penny, glad I could help."

Not sure exactly what he was supposed to do, Leonard decided to leave as he did before.

When they got to Leonard's door, he smiled at Sheldon, "Well, that was different."

"I have to tell you, Leonard, I know it's your difficult decision, but I must admit, Penny does impress me with her zealousness. Of course, this is all also completely insane. Goodnight, Leonard."

"Goodnight, Sheldon, thanks for your help."

Sheldon nodded and headed for 4A.

As soon as Leonard left, the "party" ended. Penny thanked everyone with a special thanks to Jerry and Tom. She then said goodnight to Raj and Howard and headed upstairs to Leonard's apartment.

Taking off his gloves and ears, Leonard sat back on the couch and pondered why Penny had changed the ending. It did serve to make Kurt more menacing. But why have a third party. Remembering what the guy had said to him, he decided it was to give him a little credit for what he had done.

Before he could think further, Penny stuck her head in the door., Not sure how she was going to handle this, he decided to follow her lead.

She sat down next to him and he couldn't help but notice how sexy she looked.

"Are you sure you're all right, Leonard?"

"I'm fine, I don't think he would have really done anything to hurt me."

"You don't know Kurt, he does have a mean streak and he was really angry the way you showed him up. Then, when he didn't put you down when I yelled at him; I was really scared for you. I was so relieved when Jerry stepped in."

She hesitated, "I never learn, he has always been like that."

"Then why did you invite him to your party?"

I ran into him the other day and stupidly mentioned the party. He was acting so nice and even apologized to me, I knew he wanted to come and I decided I didn't want him to get angry."

"I was so surprised when you came over, especially after what he had done to you and Sheldon before."

She reached out and touched his arm, "I was really impressed how you stood up to him, but…" She started to tear up," I was so afraid when he picked you up…"

She leaned down and cried into his shoulder, "I was so afraid. I don't know what I would have done if he really would hurt you." She looked up into his eyes, "I really do like you, Leonard."

When he didn't say anything right away, she went on, "God, I am such a mess. I can't believe I almost got you hurt, that I let that guy intimidate me like that. What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing, you're perfect."

Penny then shocked him by jumping out of character and smirked, "Well, we both know that's not true!"

Leonard couldn't help it, he laughed as Penny joined him.

Then, she leaned forward and kissed him on the mouth. They stayed that way for a few moments before she pulled back, looking expectantly at him.

"Penny, how much have you had to drink?"

She smiled, "Actually, very little."

Smirking at the look on his face, she slid closer to him and wrapping her arms around him, gave him a much more passionate kiss. Surprised, he quickly recovered and returned her passion.

She finally pulled back and said, "I'm sorry, I don't know what got into me, but I was so turned on by watching you tonight."

She gave him another small kiss, "You're a special guy, Leonard Hofstadter." She stood up, "Now I better go before I really do something we are not ready for."

She turned back as he followed her to the door, "I love you."

Caught off guard for a moment, he recovered and smiled, "I love you, too."

She gave him one more quick kiss and left.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N As always, thank you for your wonderful reviews. I really wish I could come up with something that could make you understand how much they mean to me. **

**The characters still belong to Chuck.**

As the days passed, Penny found she enjoyed just being herself and spending time with the others as friends, doing many of the things they used to do, spending nights eating with them and just enjoying being with them.

She also spent time getting to know their kids. Halley and Michael were old enough to understand she was a movie star and were awed when they saw an old movie with her on Netflix.

She also spent quite a bit of time with Steve. Leonard smiled happily as he saw her with him.

Penny knew she should move forward with her next step, but continued to stall because she was enjoying herself.

She was elated when she was contacted by Warren Fredericks, who told her they had a first edition of the film and wanted her to take a look at it. He agreed to show it in Los Angeles and have her friends join her.

Deciding it would also give her an opportunity to thank Sandi, she asked her to join them. Sandi was of course excited and kept asking questions about Warren. Penny told her to cool it. He was a happily married man but did agree to mention to him she was an aspiring actress.

Wondering how Warren would react to that, Penny began to think inviting her might have been a bad idea.

It turned out she had worried for nothing. It turned out Sandi showed her best side and Warren obviously enjoyed talking to her.

If he was surprised to see her with Leonard, he didn't show it.

Everyone was excited to be invited, with Sheldon even admitting it was an interesting experience.

For Leonard, there was a touch of sadness. It was amazing to see the results of their work as a finished product but it also reminded him of their night together. He was a little surprised to see that knowing what was behind the camera did not lower his enjoyment but actually enhanced it.

For Penny, it was a mixed blessing. She was glad she could share this with her friends, but as was true for many actors, she was not thrilled with watching herself on the screen.

After it was over, Warren decided he might as well take the opportunity to get their reactions. He was pleased and surprised when they gave him some good insight on how it had looked, the exception being Sheldon saying, "It was no Star Wars."

As they were getting ready to leave, Penny suddenly had a thought. She asked Warren, "We didn't see the credits, are they ready to go, too?"

At first Warren wondered why she was interested, but then understood. Smiling he said, "Just give us a few minutes and we'll be ready.

With the others looking inquisitively at her, they sat down to wait.

As they rolled across the screen, they realized what Penny had wanted them to see and waited expectantly. Then, it was there. Warren paused the film and they could all see it:

Science Advisor - Dr. Leonard Hofstadter

Seeing the look on Leonard's face, Penny found herself tearing up a little. She instinctively gave him a quick hug, as the rest of the group cheered.

After they returned home, everyone telling Penny how much they had enjoyed it, Leonard and Penny found themselves in front of her door.

"I know we all thanked you, but I need to tell you how special it was for me. I also need to tell you what a beautiful and talented person you are."

"Thank you, Sweetie, but I need to let you know how extra special this showing was for me because you were a part of it." She smiled, "Whatever happens between us, if I ever need a science advisor again, you'll be the one I call."

"Thank you, Penny, that means a lot to me." He paused, "Well, I guess I better say good night."

Penny looked at him. God, she loved him so much. She wanted nothing more to ask him to come in, but she knew she couldn't. "You're right." She leaned over and kissed him softly on the mouth. She smiled, "Goodnight, Dr. Leonard Hofstadter, famous science advisor."

Smiling back, "Goodnight, Penny Lawrence, famous leading lady."

He looked at the door for a few moments after she closed it and then taking a breath, headed for the stairs.

About a month after the 'Halloween Party', Penny burst into 4A when she knew the group was there, "I need to use your window."

Crossing over to the window, she pretended to toss something out, "Hey, Jerkface, you forgot your iPod."

Leonard wasn't sure what was said, so settled for, "What's going on?"

"I'll tell you what is going on, that stupid self-centered bastard wrote about our sex life on his blog."

Then, pausing, "Thank you."

After she left, Leonard turned to the others, "Well, I guess I know where this is headed." He smirked, "I hope I don't have to give myself a concussion."

After waiting a few moments, Leonard went downstairs to 3B. He knocked on the door, "Penny, it's Leonard."

He was a little surprised when she answered, "It's open," but decided she was right, no need to have him leave and come back.

When he entered, he couldn't help but smile to see she had decided to not forego the ice cream.

She started, "Tell me the truth, am I just an idiot who picks giant losers?"

"No, why would you say that?"

"Okay, so I pick good guys but turn them into losers?"

Suddenly, Leonard realized that this exchange could have a deeper meeting. After all, he was now one of those men. Was she implying he was a loser because they had broken up? No, he knew she didn't think that.

As he hesitated, Penny also realized how what she was saying could be taken to be about them. She had not meant that at all, she was just saying what she had then.

Deciding she would just cut to the chase, she quickly continued, "You know, just once, I would like to go out with someone who is nice and honest, and who actually cares about me."

A little stunned by how she had ignored the whole discussion about the blog, and her getting back with whatever his name was, he hurried to catch up, "What about me?"

"What about you what?"

"What about if you went out with me?"

"Are you asking me out?"

"Yes, I am asking you out."

"Wow."

"I was just thinking about what you said about a nice guy…"

"Yes."

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, I will go out with you."

"You will?"

"Yes, in fact I have been thinking about you and I ever since the Halloween Party."

Now out in new territory, Leonard managed, "You have?"

She smiled at him, "I really like you, Leonard."

Thinking how he was getting repetitive, "You do?"

She smiled, "Yes, I do." Then she moved over and pressed her lips and body against his.

After they broke apart, she smiled, "I really hate to miss it, but you can tell Sheldon we will just forego all that stuff about Schroeder's cat. I'll let you set up the date, okay."

"Okay."

They went out the following Friday. Leonard had made reservations at the same restaurant. After some conversation that resembled what they had said about nothing new in science, Leonard decided to repeat his experiment with the olive. To his surprise, it once again flew under the table.

When he started to instinctively go after it, Penny smiled broadly and said, "Why don't you just leave it?"

Leonard smiled, "I guess that would be a good idea."

For the rest of the meal, they had an enjoyable time, talking normally about what he was currently working on and she bringing him up to date on her family and some work experiences she had not discussed before.

They then went to a movie and fought over what movie to see, each wanting to give into the other. Since there was really no movie showing Leonard felt strongly about, they agreed on a Jennifer Anniston movie.

During the movie she leaned into him and held his hand. She also made sure to share in his drink.

When they reached her door, Leonard was about to tell her how much he had enjoyed the night, when she asked if he wanted to come in for a 'cup of coffee'.

He stared at her, "Are you sure you want me to?"

She smiled at him, "I'm sure."

They went in and were soon in the bedroom. They undressed each other slowly and lay down next to each other. Lying on their sides, Leonard looked over her as she felt herself grow hot from his gaze. She then did the same for him.

The lovemaking was wonderful as usual, but there was a difference. They both realized it was possible this was their last time. It had a poignancy to it, a feeling to make it last. It resulted in an amazing experience for them both. Afterwards they lay back, each overcome with what had happened, the passion they had shared.

Finally, Penny spoke, "Having a little trouble catching your breath there?" She continued, "Maybe you should have worked harder in P.E."

After Leonard answered, "No, I'm good," he realized what she had said, but that was later…

A little nervously, he finally said, "If my P.E. teachers had told me this is what I was training for, I would have tried a lot harder."

Penny smiled and continued, "Do or do not. There is no try."

"Did you just quote Star Wars?"

"I believe I quoted The Empire Strikes Back."

"Oh, my God. I am in bed with a beautiful woman who can quote Yoda."

Then taking a deep breath, "I love you, Penny."

She smiled at him, "I love you, too."

Then she moved over and kissed him passionately which he eagerly returned. When they breathlessly tore apart, Leonard smiled at her, "In about twenty to twenty-five minutes, I am going to show you what you mean to me."

Penny laughed and snuggled close to him, "I'll hold you to that."

In the morning, they made love again and after getting dressed, had a final hug before Penny left.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N Thanks again to all my reviewers, I never cease to be amazed at your ideas and comments. I know I have three stories going. I have decided I will work on one at a time, finishing it up; this one first. There will be one more chapter after this. **

**I still own nothing.**

Penny sat in her apartment, sipping a glass of wine, thinking back on the night before. She hadn't said anything to Leonard, but leaving him knowing it could be the last time they would make love had torn her apart. Taking a bigger gulp, she thought of the four years she had caused them to lose when they could have been together.

Oh, she knew that if she had stayed, she probably would not have had her career. She contemplated that for a moment. She remembered about what Leonard had said that maybe that was a reason they had not made it, that she was destined to be an actress.

Well, she was one now, but she also knew there was something missing out of her life. No matter what she achieved she would not be happy without Leonard in her life.

She knew that, with all that she had done and would do, she had not shown him that when the time came, she would be there for him. The trouble was she had no idea of how to do that. Any scenario she tried to create would of in and of itself be just that, a scenario.

She had to face the fact that there was nothing she could do to definitively prove to him she would not fail him again. All she could do was finish her plan and hope her actions would allow him to believe she had changed, that she would be there for him.

She smiled ruefully, the reality was, neither of them could definitely say how she would react. But she believed she had changed and hoped they would give themselves a chance.

Well, in any case, it would soon be over. She had one last shot.

She had to smile, maybe fate would be on their side one more time. It had certainly done all it could to throw them back together. What were the odds of him being a science advisor on her picture? That they would meet again at the airport in Los Angeles? That her visit home would give her the information she needed? That she would think she was pregnant and find out she wanted to have a child with him?

She finished her glass and walked over to the window. She thought back over the sixteen years since he had seen her that day in her apartment. She had screwed up so many times, but she now realized that, from that first day, there had been something between them, something that kept them coming back to each other.

She could only hope it could happen again and this time she had grown enough to make it the last time.

Suddenly, she decided that before she played it out, she wanted to do one more thing she had always enjoyed, having a girl's night. She immediately called Amy and Bernadette and they were excited and agreed to meet that night.

Leonard had made it to work, but was not getting much done. His thoughts kept going back to the night before. It had been wonderful to be with Penny but it also had forced him to face the truth. That it might soon be over for him and Penny. Fate had given them one more chance, but he knew this was it.

He was amazed and humbled by what she had done to try to prove she had changed, that they belonged together. But the sad part was, the original question still remained, would she be there when he needed her?

But then he realized, how could she possibly prove that? Unless something comparable would happen, there was no way she could assure him beyond any doubt that she would not fail again. She could not create a situation because by definition it would be fake. The truth was, no one really knew what she would do if and when the time would come.

So, the question was whether he believed she had changed. He did believe she had. But was that enough to risk them breaking up again?

One thing he was pretty sure of, he was going to have to make a decision soon. He could tell they were nearing the end.

Penny looked over at Bernadette and Amy. If she and Leonard did not get back together, she hoped she could continue to be friends with them. She hadn't realized how much she had missed them all. She wondered if somehow she could be friends with Leonard as well. She knew it would be difficult to be with him, knowing they would not be together.

Then she chided herself, she was not going to fail. They were going to get back together and live happily ever after.

Bernadette spoke first, "I am so glad you thought of doing this, Penny, I have really missed us talking like this."

Penny smiled, "I have too." She paused and took a sip, "I didn't realize how much I have missed you both. I should have tried to make it right earlier."

Amy broke in, "Don't think that way, Penny, maybe we needed the time."

She went on, "But I do hope we don't lose you again."

Penny looked at her, "I hope that too. Whatever happens, I want us to stay friends."

Bernadette hesitated but then said, "How is it going between you and Leonard?"

"It's been great." She paused and took a gulp, "We made love last night. I had recreated the scenario when we broke up because I couldn't tell him I loved him. This time I told him I did."

Amy spoke up, "I admit I had come to believe that you two should give up being together. But after what has happened, what you have done, how great it has been to have you back, I really hope you two can make it work."

Before Penny could answer, Bernadette interrupted, "I am sure she speaks for all of us. We love you and Leonard and think you belong together."

Penny teared up, "Thank you, guys, that means everything to me. I love you all."

Bernadette found herself tearing up a little as well, "After all you have done, Leonard has to know how much you love him and want you guys to be together."

Penny smiled sadly, "I hope your right, but we both have known we love each other. The question is does he believe I have changed, that I won't run out on him again."

Amy looked at Bernadette, "Your right, I suppose. But if it matters at all, we believe you have changed."

Penny smiled, "I am glad you feel that way, now if Leonard…"

Deciding it was time to change the subject, Bernadette started to talk about how Howard had messed up again.

Penny looked gratefully at her and they spent the rest of the night talking about more mundane things like the kids and what went on behind the scenes in making movies.

Then Penny found herself talking about how Leonard had impressed everyone when he was science advisor. Seeing they were getting back on dangerous grounds, they decided to call it a night.

At the door, Bernadette and Amy gave Penny a hug and Bernadette said, "I just know it will work out between you and Leonard. You love each other too much for it not to."

Penny didn't say anything, but returned the hug and told them goodnight.

Knowing it was her last shot, Penny returned to putting off her final scenario and once again spent time with everyone as friends.

Two weeks after they made love, Leonard was watching TV when there was a knock on his door. He opened it to find a distraught Penny. For a moment, he wondered if this was another planned action but then saw she was really upset.

She rushed up to him and gave him a big hug as tears poured down her face.

Leonard hugged her back and after a few moments, Penny pulled back. She struggled for a moment and the then finally got out, "She's dead, Leonard. I just got a call."

Before he could ask, she went on, "Of course, I knew it was going to happen, but I guess I wanted to believe she would somehow survive. God, she was so young, so beautiful. She was so happy."

Leonard finally got out, "Who died, Penny?"

She stared at him then said, "Margie, Margie died."

Leonard was puzzled for a minute and then remembered that was the name of the little girl with the wish to be on a movie set with Penny.

"I am so sorry, Penny, I know how much you were moved by being with her."

Penny nodded, "They said she died in her sleep." She managed a small smile, "I know I don't act very religious, but I want to believe she is in heaven."

Leonard was surprised but said, "I'd like to believe that there is a special place for children."

Penny smiled. Then she said, "Could I stay for a while? I don't want to be alone just now."

"Of course, Penny. Can I get you anything?"

"No." She went over to the couch and sat down. When Leonard sat down beside her, she asked quietly, "Could you hold me?"

He moved over and she leaned into him as he put his arm around her shoulder. They stayed like that for a long time. Then Leonard noticed the time and that his arm was going to sleep. Reluctantly he pulled it back.

Penny sat up and realized how late it was. She was about to say goodnight when she realized she wasn't yet ready to be alone. She realized how comforting it had been to be with Leonard.

Hesitantly, she asked, "I know it is a lot to ask, but could I stay here tonight? I don't want to be alone."

"I understand, I can sleep on the couch."

"Could you stay with me?"

Before he could answer, she hurried on, "I promise I won't do anything. I just want to be with you, to have you hold me. Can we do that, Leonard?"

Leonard reached out and took her hand. He led her into the bedroom. After he had done his nightly duties, he took out something for her to sleep in and she went into the bathroom. When she came out, he was in bed waiting for her, holding the covers back.

She crawled in next to him and snuggled up to him. Soon, they were both fast asleep.

In the morning, there was a brief awkward moment but then they both took their times in the bathroom and sat down for breakfast. Penny told Leonard everything about the time she had spent with Margie.

When she was leaving, she stopped at the door. Leonard asked, "Are you going to be all right?"

She smiled back, "I think so, now." She paused, "Thank you, Leonard, for being there for me."

He smiled back, "Anytime, Penny. I am glad I could help."

Penny leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the mouth and left.

A week after she had stayed overnight, Penny decided it was time. She knocked on the door of 4A and was admitted to see everyone was there.

"As you know, it is Valentine's day this Friday. To prove that I can do romance, I have made reservations at a fancy restaurant. She turned to Bernadette, "I hope you and Howard can join Leonard and I."

Since it was July, it was obvious this was another scenario. When Bernadette and Howard said they would be glad to come, she nodded and left.

Bernadette and Amy had thought long and hard about what had happened at the girl's night with Penny. They struggled whether they should say anything to Leonard. But everyone seemed to sense that things were coming to a head.

They finally decided to talk to him.

Leonard had been surprised when Bernadette called but now they were together in 4B.

Bernadette started, "We weren't sure if we should say anything, but we finally decided we needed to."

She went on, "We just wanted to tell you that we think you should give your and Penny's relationship another chance. Two people that love each other as much as you two do, belong together."

Amy broke in, "We know that it's your decision but we just felt we needed to let you know how we feel." She hesitated, "I know none of us know if she will let you down again, but we believe she has changed and deserves another chance."

Leonard thought over what they were saying, "I really appreciate you telling me how you feel. I really respect your feelings." He sighed, "But, you're right, it's my decision and in the end it's how I feel."

They got up, "We understand. We'll support you in whatever you decide. We just felt we needed to let you know how we feel."

"I know and I am glad you shared it with me."

Bernadette impulsively gave him a hug. "Just know we are all here for you."

Leonard returned her hug and then shocked Amy by kissing her softly on the cheek. "I know and it means everything to me."

That Friday, Leonard picked Penny up. He wasn't sure if it was the same dress, but she looked gorgeous.

When they arrived at the restaurant, Bernadette and Howard were waiting for them, hoping their being there first didn't affect anything.

Penny didn't seem to mind and soon everyone was fortified with a glass of wine. Feeling a little silly, Bernadette and Howard made an effort to have their argument. Penny had to smile as she watched them. Once again, she was amazed at what wonderful friends she had.

After the food was served, Penny exclaimed, "Oh, Son of a bitch."

Leonard looked at her, "What?"

"It's just this guy I used to date."

After a moment, she went on, "Until he cheated with my friend Gretchen, who is with him now."

"Really?"

"It looks like she lost a lot of weight, damn it."

"I know it bugs you, but don't let it ruin the night for us."

"You're right, she could be skinny because she could be dying."

"That's the spirit."

"You know, to hell with them, our night is going to be much more special."

Bernadette remembered her line, "Oh, oh."

Penny looked over at the couple, "What?" The man was proposing to the woman. "You've got to be kidding me."

The girl answers, "Oh, my God, of course I'll marry you."

Leonard started to kneel, "Two can play this game."

Suddenly he realized Penny wasn't stopping him.

Getting down, he knew this was the moment. This is what Penny had been aiming for.

He looked up at her face, he could see the love, the anticipation, the fear.

Everything that had happened rushed over him. All the years, all that had happened between them. The last few months, what Penny had gone through to show him how much she wanted to get back together. At how his friends had joined in. As he knelt, he was sure of two things, he loved her, maybe he had always loved her. He also knew that he was never as happy as he was when he was with her. He thought of how she had reconnected with everyone.

He loved her, she made him happy, what was holding him back? Of course, he knew; nothing that had happened meant she wouldn't fail him again, that she would be there when he needed her. But he also knew there was no way she could prove that to him, that neither of them could completely be sure.

It came down to, did he believe she had changed, changed enough to be there for him, to stay with him. He wanted to believe it.

He thought about what Bernadette and Amy had said.

But then he suddenly realized that, in the end, none of that really mattered. It all became clear to him. There was a realization of complete clarity.

Now confident in what he needed to do, he looked up at her. The doubts were all gone. All he knew was that if he let her go, if he didn't take this chance; he would never forgive himself, he would regret it the rest of his life.

He smiled, completely at peace, "Penny Lawrence, will you remarry me?"

Penny was overwhelmed with joy, but then a doubt crept in. She leaned down, "You do know this is for real, right?"

He smiled happily, "As real as a Las Vegas Chapel."

As he saw the look of absolute joy on her face, he knew he had made the right decision.

She quickly said, "YES, Leonard Hofstadter, YES, I will remarry you."

He rose and pulled her to him as their lips met in a passionate kiss.

All of the patrons clapped and cheered (only two being actors), including Howard and Bernadette.

Just then, they were joined by Sheldon, Amy, and Raj. Penny had them come to either share in the celebration or be there for Leonard.

With the women all tearing up, hugs were exchanged, with everyone expressing their joy at what happened. Then Raj stunned them when he announced to the room, "Champagne for everyone!"

When he saw the looks on their faces, he shrugged, "I have always wanted to do that."

A woman had recorded it all and when she realized who the woman was, posted it on You Tube.

As everyone celebrated, Penny pulled Leonard aside, "You know, I am worth over sixty million dollars."

"Really."


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N Oops. It appears I lied to you; in a big way. This is not the last chapter. In fact, there will be at least three more. I originally planned to have something like an epilogue, but as I started, I discovered I had more I wanted to say. I hope you won't be too hard on me. **

**Thanks again for the wonderful reviews. Maybe I just wanted to get more :)**

**I still own nothing. **

They had gone back and forth what to do about the wedding. At first, they thought of just going to the courthouse or back to Vegas, but then they decided they would finally have a real wedding.

Then ended up planning to have it on the farm. They hired a security firm to keep reporters and paparazzi away; including having a helicopter in the air. They hired a real pastor since all the guys were in the wedding.

Penny was especially thrilled when Lisa agreed to be her Matron of Honor. It turned out that Lisa had wanted to join her parents and Randall at Penny's second wedding, but Bob told her she was not going all the way to California. Her Bridesmaids were of course Bernadette and Amy.

Leonard naturally chose Sheldon as his best man with Howard and Raj as his groomsmen.

Michael and Halley were the ring bearer and flower girl.

Penny decided to wear her mother's wedding dress and everyone agreed she made a beautiful bride.

Penny was pleased when Leonard's Mother and Father agreed to attend again. Everyone was relieved that time had evidently took the edge off their contempt for each other. Penny was a little bummed, but not surprised when Leonard's brother and sister sent their regrets, saying they had something important to do.

This time Penny and Leonard made sure to invite Sheldon's mother themselves. They happily agreed when Mary asked if Missy and her kids could accompany her.

Everyone was asked to try to arrive three days before the wedding. Penny had arranged rooms for everyone at the nicest hotel in Omaha. There was also a limousine service that would take anyone wherever they wanted to go.

Sheldon and Amy picked up the Coopers with a limousine at the airport. Missy's kids were Roger and Samuel. Missy and her husband had never reconciled and they were divorced soon after Samuel was born. Missy had found a good job as a receptionist at a doctor's office and Mary often babysat.

Roger and Samuel were a little in awe of Sheldon. Their mother had told them how he had won a Nobel Prize. Missy was proud that Roger showed an interest in science and was quite intelligent. Evidently, in her case, the Cooper brains had jumped a generation.

After letting Roger pelt Sheldon with questions for a while, Mary finally spoke up.

"Roger, give your uncle a break. We will be here for a few days; you will get a chance to talk to him."

"Okay, Grandma."

She went on, "I was surprised when I got the invitation. I never thought Leonard and Penny would get back together, her being a big movie star and all. But then they always were a strange couple."

Amy answered, "I know what you mean, we were all surprised." She paused, "But when you see them together, you can tell how much they love each other."

Mary continued, "It was so sad about them losing their baby. It's ironic, isn't it, Missy, they lost the baby they wanted so bad, but you had no trouble getting pregnant."

"Don't start on me, Mom." She looked at her kids, "You know you love them as much as I do."

"Your right, Missy, but when I think of that man…"

"Ixnay on that. Not now."

Amy broke in, "So, Missy, I understand you are working in a doctor's office. Do you like it?"

"Yeah, I like the people there and the pay is pretty good."

Sheldon sat quietly watching. He loved his sister, even after the way she had treated him growing up, but he was amazed they could be related, let alone twins. No two people could be more different. He had to admit he was surprised how intelligent Roger seemed to be, but reminded himself that neither his mother nor his father had been that intelligent either. He decided he would do his best to help Roger as much as he could.

Missy had continued, "I can't wait to see Steven again. I haven't seen him since soon after he was born, what is he now, three?"

"He will be three next month."

Mary spoke up, "I can't wait to see Penny again. Although it will be a little different now that she is a movie star."

Leonard and Penny had picked up both Beverly and Alfred at the airport. They had coincidentally arrived at about the same time. Penny had wondered if they should send two cars, but Beverly assured them she and Alfred would be on their best behavior.

After picking them up and exchanging greetings, they headed for the hotel. Beverly sat in the back and looked over at Penny. Before they broke up, she had gotten quite close with Penny. She was surprised to find that she was glad that she seemed to make Leonard happy.

As for she and Leonard, after their confrontation that day, they had found a way to be comfortable with each other. It had even survived when she published her latest book about him and his siblings.

Alfred turned to her, "I suppose I should congratulate you on your success with your new book." He smirked, "It does have quite a title, _How They Turned Out, the story of Needy Baby, Greedy Baby."_

Then he looked embarrassed, "Sorry Leonard, I…"

Leonard smiled at Penny, "Don't worry, Dad, Mother and I have found a way to deal with each other."

He added, "It's not your normal mother/son love story, but it works for us."

With everyone except Lisa arriving on time, they had a quick rehearsal at the farm that night.

This time (third times the charm), Penny and Leonard had decided everyone would have a chance to get to know each other better and had arranged a couple of get-togethers at the hotel.

Two nights before the wedding, they had arranged with the hotel to have the pool area to themselves. Some guests were not thrilled but were mollified a little when they learned who was there. Although the security guards kept them back, they were able to catch a glimpse of everyone attending.

The tabloids were filled with the story of the movie star who gave up a movie to get back with her scientist ex-husband, a true love story. It appeared that Penny had enhanced her career rather than harming it.

Penny sat with Leonard by the pool. Like most of the others, she had a swimsuit under her clothes but the only ones who had gone in the pool were the kids and their parents.

She felt a little sadness, but quickly put it behind her, as she watched them. She had to smile. Missy and Bernadette were not wearing bikinis but both were still sexy as hell. Amy's new dress code evidently did not extend to swim wear as she was wearing about as conservative a suit as she could.

She smiled as she saw Sheldon sitting with Raj. It had become apparent he had no intention of 'frolicking in the pool'.

She turned to talk with Leonard when she noticed that Raj did not seem to be paying attention to what Sheldon was saying. She followed his eyes and smirked when she saw he was looking at Missy. She also noticed he had a rapt look on his face.

Poor Raj. Then she thought again. Missy and Raj? Why not? She remembered how Missy had seemed to be disappointed when Raj had lost his voice when she had visited so long ago.

She watched Missy, but she didn't seem aware of the attention she was getting, concentrating on her kids.

Suddenly, Penny had an idea. She knew she shouldn't interfere but she was so happy to be back with Leonard, she wanted others to be happy as well. Besides, she had got Howard and Bernadette together.

She got up and went over to the edge of the pool. She got Bernadette's attention and signaled for her to join her. When Bernadette reached her, she had her get out of the pool and they moved a little distance away.

"What's so important, Penny?"

"I want you and Howard to tell Raj that you have to do something and ask him if he would stay with Halley and Michael."

"Why do you want me to do that? What are you up to?"

"Haven't you noticed how he has been looking at Missy? I thought it might be interesting to have them kind of thrown together."

Bernadette stared at her, "Don't you ever give up? Look how many times we have tried to set him up. You know how that turned out."

"I know, but I just have a good feeling about this. You know how crazy Raj is about kids. I think they would be good together."

"I can't believe I am saying this, but okay. I don't know what excuse we can give to leave, though."

"Don't worry, if I am right about him, he will jump at the chance. We can always make up something later."

Penny watched as Bernadette went back to Howard. She saw the look of surprise on his face. He then turned to look at Penny and she had to smile at the look of incredulity on his face. But then he shrugged and Penny watched as he went over to Raj.

She knew she had been right when she saw the smile on Raj's face. He about fell down in his hurry to strip down to his swim suit and join the kids.

When she saw how he and Missy started to interact, she had to confide in Leonard. Ignoring his look of I love you, but don't you ever give up, she turned back and watched happily.

She felt justified the next day when Raj joined Missy and her kids on a trip to a local amusement park.

The night before the wedding, there was a huge buffet in a private dining room in the hotel. They had gone all out and offerings included everything from steak and lobster to Cheesecake Factory hamburgers and spaghetti with hot dogs in it.

Every one had a good time and it seemed to be working getting them to know each other. Penny had to smile triumphantly when others began to notice how close Raj and Missy were getting. She was disappointed though when it seemed the attraction between Mary and Alfred had been a one-time thing. They had never followed up on seeing each other.

She had been a little upset that Bob had not allowed Lisa to come early, but was gratified to see them at the buffet. The two teenagers soon snuck away and spent most of the night at the pool. She was proud of her Dad as he kept Bob occupied, allowing Lisa to relax and have a good time.

The next morning, Lisa and Penny went out for an early ride. As they rode, Lisa turned to Penny, "I am so happy for you and Leonard." She hesitated, "It is obvious how much you love each other, how passionate you are for each other." They rode for a time, "It's made me think about me and Bob. How it is between us."

Penny was shocked, was she thinking about breaking up? A little apprehensively she said, "You aren't planning on leaving him?"

Lisa stared at her in shock, "God, no. I do love him and he is a wonderful father."

"I have just realized I haven't really made an effort for a long time." She stopped her horse, "Maybe all we need is something different. Get us out of our rut."

She smiled at Penny, "Do we have time to go shopping? I need to find some new night clothes. Something that will knock his socks off."

Penny smiled, "There's always time for shopping, there is a Victoria Secret at the Mall."

They hurried back and taking the limousine service, bought some items that Penny used to show off for Leonard. When she saw Lisa in them, she figured that unless Bob was dead, he was going to get the shock of his life.

Leonard and the rest of the men, including Wyatt, had spent the night at the hotel while the women took over the farm house. Missy turned out to be a great help, keeping the kids occupied and helping out whenever she could.

She happily confided to them that although Raj had to go back to work, he planned to visit her in Texas as soon as he could. With everyone telling her how excited and happy they were for them, she smirked and said that apparently Roger had turned his hero worship from Sheldon to Raj.

When Raj told the guys about Missy, Sheldon was surprised and a little perturbed at first, and Howard started to give him a bit of a hard time, but when they saw how happy he was, they all congratulated him and wished him luck.

The last hurdle had been completed with the weather more than cooperating. It was a beautiful fall day. Although it wasn't the normal thing, Penny and Leonard had shown their feelings for Mary by having her seated with the other parents. Missy had agreed to sit with the kids.

Except for Leonard, the rest of the wedding party was waiting in the house. Penny was getting a little antsy, just wanting to get going.

Wyatt came up to her, "Well, Slugger, are you ready?"

Penny smiled at him, "More than ready. Let's get this show on the road."

Wyatt hesitated a moment, "I just want to say how happy your mother and I are that you and Leonard have gotten back together. We really love you both."

Penny felt herself tearing up, "Thank you, Dad." She smirked, "But don't get me crying."

Lisa came up to them, "Are you all right, Penny? It's time to go."

Penny smiled, "I'm fine. In fact, I'm perfect."

They all moved out to where they would start down the aisle.

Sheldon and Lisa went first. Leonard remembered again that first moment he and Sheldon had met Penny. How different she had made their lives.

Leonard watched as they reached him. Although this was his and Penny's third try at this, he felt deeply this was much different than the others. He had loved Penny for a long time, but it was much deeper now. They had gone through a lot, but he felt it had made them stronger.

Bernadette and Howard went next. Leonard had to smile as he thought about when he had first met them both. Who would have ever believed how they had turned out?

Raj and Amy came last. Again Leonard marveled how Amy had changed, how she had blossomed from that introverted woman she had been. He also had to smile as he noticed Raj smile at Missy as he went by her. It appeared Penny may have put two people together again.

Then Halley and Michael came down the aisle. It was apparent Halley was enjoying this immensely while Michael looked like he would rather be anywhere else.

Then, the bride's music began and everyone stood. When Leonard saw her, he felt at if his heart would burst. God, she was so beautiful and he loved her so much.

Penny smiled happily, she couldn't believe how excited and happy she was. After all, this was their third time. But it felt like the first, like something new and wonderful. She saw Leonard and she realized how much she really loved him. She was again so grateful fate had given them one more chance.

Wyatt took her hand and placed it in Leonard's, "No Father has ever been so happy to give up his daughter."

As Wyatt set down next to Susan, she took his hand.

As Mary Cooper watched the ceremony, she could not help but think about the tie between Sheldon and Leonard. She would never have thought she would see the day when they would both be married. She had always been afraid Sheldon would be alone most of his life. She was so pleased that Leonard and Penny seemed to think of her as a parent because the loved them both.

Beverly Hofstadter watched quietly. All her life she had been proud she had never needed anybody. Her husband, her children, were to be part of an orderly and planned life. She had to smile, it had seemed to work for her other children and for a long time, with Alfred.

But then there was Leonard. He just never understood how it worked. No matter how she tried, he never stopped seeking her love. She felt a little sad when she realized how her rejection had finally made him stop trying.

But know they had finally found a way to relate to each other. She felt a lot of it was due to Penny. She had changed Leonard in many ways. But she knew Leonard had done the same for Penny.

She found herself almost envying them, almost.

When it was done and the Pastor had introduced Dr and Mrs. Leonard Hofstadter, everyone rushed to congratulate them and head back to the hotel for the reception.

Everyone wondered exactly what he would say when Sheldon rose to give the first toast.

"For all of you who heard my speech at the Nobel presentation, and shame on you if you haven't, I expressed how I feel about Leonard and Penny. At the second wedding, Bernadette introduced me as the husband who came with the apartment. Although I am sure she was in a way being facetious, it was actually close to the truth.

I love my wife and my child but I also will always love these two. It is they who taught me how to love, to understand what it means to love another.

He smirked, "But, Leonard and Penny, for all our sakes, let this be the last time we go through this."

Everyone laughed, but also marveled at what Sheldon had said.

Leonard rose, "Thank you, Sheldon, we do love you too."

"It seems like a lifetime, but also just a moment ago, when Sheldon and I first met Penny. From the first time I saw her, I somehow knew my life would never be the same again. Of course, a lot of that was a crush on her, but there was something more. As all of you are aware, it has not been exactly an easy journey to where we are today. But through all that happened, one thing remained constant, our friendship."

He looked down at Penny, "I love you, Penny. Because not only are you beautiful but because of how beautiful you are inside. A lot of people will wonder how a big movie star is with a guy like me, but I know the real miracle is how I found my soulmate."

Penny stood up, "And I found mine."

They kissed passionately as everyone cheered.

Penny and Leonard danced the first dance, while Sheldon danced with Lisa, Bernadette with Howard, and Raj and Amy.

After that, Penny danced with her father, while Leonard danced with Susan. Sheldon danced with Mary while Alfred danced with Amy.

Beverly even danced one dance, with Sheldon.

Leonard danced with Mary, while Penny danced with Alfred.

All the time, Raj danced with Missy.

Finally, everyone retired to their rooms with Penny and Leonard headed for the Honeymoon suite.

They undressed and made long, languid love, enjoying being together. After they had recovered, Penny suddenly had a crazy idea. She got out of bed and said, "Hurry up and get dressed."

"What, why?"

"Just trust me."

Shaking his head, Leonard got dressed. Penny contacted the limousine service and took a still bewildered Leonard down to the car.

When they entered the road that led to the farm, Penny had the also confused driver stop the car and told him to wait for them.

As they walked down the road to the house, Leonard finally said, "Okay, Penny, what is this all about?"

"Were going to sneak in and have sex in my bed."

Leonard stared and then smirked, "What if your Dad catches us?"

Penny smiled, "I'll get grounded and won't be able to see you anymore. Now be quiet."

Penny carefully opened the back door, whispering, "I know we should lock it."

As they went through the kitchen and crept down the hall, passing her parent's room; Leonard had to admit he was enjoying it.

They then slipped into Penny's room, each of them stifling a giggle. As they undressed, Leonard whispered, "Won't they hear us?"

"Nah. There's a room between us and them. They crawled into bed and discovered that doing it there with her parents just down the hall definitely added something to it.

Susan sat up in bed, wondering what had awakened her. She realized Wyatt wasn't with her. Just then, he came through the door, signaling for her to be quiet.

As he climbed back in bed, she whispered, "Where were you? Why do we need to whisper?"

"I heard a noise, so I checked it out. I didn't see anyone, so I checked outside. There is a limousine parked up the road."

Susan smiled, "You don't mean?"

"Yeah, Penny snuck Leonard into her bedroom."

"Are you going to catch them when they leave?'

"I thought about it, but I think I'll let her think she got away with it."

After they finished Leonard and Penny made their way back to the limousine and went back to the hotel.

"


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N Thank you so much for your reviews. They do mean everything to me. I still own nothing.**

It soon became apparent that returning to their apartments in Pasadena was not going to work.

Reporters and Paparazzi were everywhere. The apartment's security system was not up to the task of providing any protection. After a few days of being confined to their room, they decided they needed to move.

They hated to leave their friends behind, but hoped it would only be for a short time. As a temporary fix, they decided to go to Penny's apartment in New York.

Hiring security, they were transported to a private landing field where they boarded a leased private plane for the flight.

When they got to New York, they were able to get into the apartment via the underground parking lot.

Penny's agent had been trying to contact her and Penny finally decided to return her calls. She put it on speaker so Leonard could be in on it.

"Hey, Sally, this is Penny."

"Penny! Why haven't you returned my calls?"

"In case you haven't heard, I was getting married."

"And you wasted a chance for a lot of publicity. I had several lucrative offers for just a few candid shots at the wedding and a quick interview afterwards."

"That's exactly why I DIDN'T call you."

"Listen, Penny, you don't seem to realize how hot you are right now, but it won't last forever. You need to cash in while you can."

"Do you know any agents that could use a new client?"

Silence, then sighing, "Okay, okay, I get it."

She went on, "But I have gotten about twenty scripts, some of them from the best producers and directors in the industry. Can I at least send them out to you?"

"All right. We are in my apartment in New York."

"Thanks, Penny, I appreciate it."

She paused again, "Don't get mad, but would you be willing to appear on one of the talk shows? It might be a good way to satisfy everyone's curiosity."

Penny looked at Leonard, who smiled and shrugged. "All right. If you can make it Bill Willers. He is usually straight up and is in New York."

"I'll let him know right away and get back to you. Hey, do you think your husband would be willing to go on with you?"

Both Leonard and Penny were shocked but then Penny wondered if it might be a good idea. She knew Bill and felt he would play it straight.

She told Sally she was going to put her on mute and turned to Leonard. "What do you think? I know this guy and I think he would go easy on us. We are going to have to deal with this at some time."

Leonard was doubtful but was quickly learning his life would never be the same again. "If you think it will be okay, I am willing to try."

Penny smiled and gave him a quick kiss, "Thanks, Leonard."

She got Sally back and told her to go ahead.

By four o'clock in the afternoon, the scripts had arrived and Sally had called back to tell them they were scheduled for Thursday which was the day after tomorrow.

That night they took a chance and with Penny assuming her other persona, they were able to sneak out and have supper at a restaurant where the owner was a friend of hers and they were given a private room. They returned to the room and made love.

The next day they had a Skype session with everyone in Pasadena and managed to get out and go for a walk.

Later in the afternoon, Penny decided she should at least start on the scripts. She was not working too hard at it when she was stunned by one of them. It was a part that actors dream of. Soon she was deeply absorbed in it. Leonard noticed and smiled at her concentration.

When she finished, she looked up and saw Leonard. She realized they had a major decision to make.

The next day they waited backstage. Leonard was understandably nervous but wanted to be there for Penny.

Bill had greeted them and tried to have them relax before he was notified it was air time.

"Today we have some special guests. To say they have created excitement would be a giant understatement. Everyone has been interested and affected by their story."

"I would like a nice round of applause for Oscar winning actress Penny Lawrence and her husband, Dr. Leonard Hofstadter."

Penny acknowledged the applause as they came out and sat on a couch across from Bill.

"Penny, Leonard, welcome to the show."

Penny answered, "Thanks Bill, thanks for having us."

"For those of you that have been cut off from civilization recently, Penny recently gave up a starring role in order to do everything she could to be reconciled with her ex-husband. It had a fairy tale ending when they remarried."

"To get started. Leonard, I am sure our audience would like to know a little about you. I understand you have a doctorate in Physics?"

"Leonard was afraid he was going to need his inhaler but Penny reached out and squeezed his hand.

He pulled himself together and said, "That's right, Bill."

"Can you tell us how you met Penny."

"She moved in across the hall from me and my roommate."

Bill turned back to Penny, "This was before you were famous, I assume."

"Yeah, I was a struggling actress who worked as a waitress."

"How about you Leonard, what do you do for a living?"

"I am an Experimental Physicist at Caltech."

"I am almost afraid to ask, but what does that entail?"

"Mainly, I work with Lasers."

"Actually, I did a little research, I was impressed by your record. It seems you are as talented in your field as Penny is in hers."

He paused and then went on, "You have to pardon me, but I would think that you two would even admit you would not be considered likely to be a couple. How did you get together?"

Penny spoke up, "There seemed to be something between us right from the beginning. We became friends and eventually fell in love."

He turned to Leonard, "For all of us envious guys out there, I have to ask, how did you ever manage to land such a beautiful woman?"

Penny felt angry, this was just the kind of question she had hoped would not come up. She looked a little nervously at Leonard but he replied, "Right from the time I first met her, I knew she was as beautiful inside as she was outside. There is no mystery, we were just two people who fell in love."

Penny smiled and stared at him, would he ever stop amazing her?

Bill smiled and went on, "But then you did get divorced?"

Penny spoke up, "Yes, we suffered a loss and it drove us apart. A large part of that was due to my handling of the situation." She went on, "But when we were thrown back together, I knew I still loved him and needed to do what I could to get us back together."

"How did you meet again?"

"We needed a science advisor for a picture I was making and the studio chose Leonard."

"So now you are back together. What are your plans for the future?"

Penny continued, "We have some decisions to make. But we know now that we will make them together and we will put our love and marriage first."

"I know I speak for our audience when I hope nothing but the best for your both of us. Thanks for sharing your story with us."

"Thank you, Bill."

Backstage, Leonard took a deep breath, "Thank goodness that is over."

Penny smiled, "I agree." Then she leaned over and kissed him, "You were great, I am so proud of you."

Leonard blushed and smiled back at her.

Then Bill came up to them, "I have to get back after the commercial but I just wanted to say again how much I appreciated you coming on the show. And I have to say, yours is a wonderful story. I hope it does all work out."

Penny smiled, "Thanks, Bill. We appreciate that."

When they made it back to the apartment, Leonard went to the kitchen to make some sandwiches while Penny sat on the couch. She looked over and saw the script she had read. She sighed, they needed to talk. They had some decisions to make.

After they had eaten, Penny took a deep breath and turned to Leonard, "We need to talk."

Leonard looked at her, "What is it?"

"You know that script I was reading."

"Yeah, you were really into it."

"It is the kind of script and role that an actor dreams of." She hesitated and looked into his eyes, "I want to do it."

"Then you should."

"But it is shot on location in Africa and I could be gone up to six months."

Leonard wanted to quickly say, 'It's okay, I'll be fine,' but he realized it did bother him. After all, they had just gotten back together and he didn't look forward to have her gone for such a long time. Also he had thought they would have time to figure out what they were going to do, to make plans.

Finally he got out, "When would you leave?"

"That's just it, I would have to leave in a week and I need to let them know immediately or they will need to find someone else."

"You have to take it. I'll be all right. With you gone, I am sure I can go back home."

Whatever Leonard was saying, Penny was pretty sure he was not happy with the situation. "Leonard, we always got in trouble before because we didn't let the other know how they felt. Talk to me."

"Okay, it does bother me. But we knew this situation would come up. It is just happening a little too fast. But I believe you when you say how important it is to you. But when you get back, we need to have that discussion about how we plan to go forward."

Penny suddenly asked, "Why don't you come with me?"

"As good as that sounds, I really don't see me out in the jungle. Besides, I have used up all my vacation time."

Penny knew she shouldn't say it but they might as well get it out there, "I know this is a sore spot, but we do have enough money that you could afford to take some time off."

Leonard was shocked she had brought that up. It was one thing they had discussed back during the Mystery Game. "I have responsibilities and am working on something important. I know it's not the 'role of the century' but it is important to me."

He regretted it as soon as he said it but there was no taking it back.

Penny felt herself getting angry but knew she needed to understand what Leonard was saying.

"Well, what do we do?"

Leonard moved over and gave her a kiss which she returned. "You go make your movie. I will miss you a lot but I'll be okay. Maybe I can spend the time finding us a place to live. We can keep in contact."

He looked into her eyes, "We can, right?"

Penny smiled, "I won't be in that primitive an area." She hesitated, "You're sure you're okay with this?"

"Yeah. But when you get back, don't plan on making another movie right away."

"I won't." She hesitated and then smiled, "In fact, I might just take a long time off. I was thinking we could think about having a baby."

She smiled at the surprise and happiness on Leonard's face. "Are you sure, Penny? I would love nothing more but I am happy just to be with you."

"I'm sure. I know we will be great parents." She smiled, "Maybe we should have two." They she smirked, "But not three."

Leonard smiled, "Not three."

Then he grabbed her and kissed her. "Maybe we should get in some practice before you leave."

Kissing him back, "That sounds like an excellent idea. I wonder how much practice we can get done in a week."

Taking her hand and heading for the bedroom, "We won't know until we try."

**A/N I thought about having them be on a real talk show, but didn't have the guts to try to portray someone. I also thought that was a no no?**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N Have a little longer note today. First, I want to thank guest for his thoughtful review and would like to address one point. I like Sheldon too and think I have treated him well in a couple of my stories, including this one. I admit I do tend to treat him badly when the story is about him getting with Penny. That is because I don't believe that in those scenarios, he is a person that is likeable or should be admired. **

**I also want to thank my other reviewers who continue to amaze me and bring me joy.**

**I still own nothing.**

**One more thing. A portion of this chapter probably borders on being an M. I am not exactly sure where the line is.**

**One more thing. This chapter got a little long but it didn't seem to have a good place to stop. **

Both Leonard and Penny were relieved when the producer of the movie contacted them and told them now that they knew she was onboard; it would be a month before she needed to report for the start of the movie.

She did receive the contract and Penny had to smile when Leonard saw the salary she was going to receive. More than ever, she realized how much his life was changing. She knew it would take work on both their parts for him to feel comfortable in this new reality.

Now that they had at least a little time, they sat down to determine where they should plan to live. They both agreed that they wanted to be near their friends. Penny also realized it might be better for them to be away from living by other celebrities and not get caught up in that social scene.

In the end, they decided to look for a secure area in Pasadena. They started to explore several gated communities.

After identifying some possibilities on the Internet, they decided to risk returning to Pasadena to visit their friends and look at houses.

Penny also had them open a joint banking account and had her business manager transfer five million dollars to it. She also arranged to have Leonard obtain credit cards with unlimited credit.

Retaking a private jet, they enlisted a security company to provide a car and act as a chauffeur. They didn't encounter any reporters and made their way to 4A, where everyone was waiting for them.

After exchanging hugs and greetings, Sheldon even joining in by hugging Penny, they sat down to catch everyone up.

Bernadette spoke up, "We are so glad you decided to live in Pasadena. We would have missed you both."

Penny answered, "It wasn't a very difficult decision. Now that I have found you guys again, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

Amy broke in, "Tell us about your new picture. Who's your leading man?"

"There really isn't one. The reason I was so drawn to it was that it really centers on the woman. It tells of her journey and what happens to her. It really demands a wide range of emotions."

She smiled and went on, "But, Edward Donner is in it."

Bernadette smiled, "Wow, he's hot. Do you have a love scene with him?"

Penny was a little evasive, "I guess you could call it that."

She then changed the subject and they spent the rest of the night planning out the next few days.

Each night after work and on the weekends, Penny and Leonard, often with one or more of the others along, checked out possible areas where they could live.

It took a couple weeks but they found what they were looking for. They were especially impressed with its security.

When Leonard and Penny went to close the deal, Leonard was surprised when Penny negotiated the price down a little when she announced they would pay cash.

Penny had to smile fondly at him as she watched Leonard write a check for over one and a half million dollars. For Leonard it was another example of the new world he found himself in. He had to admit though, it was quite a rush.

They celebrated with the others and then made love repeatedly through the night. They decided that Leonard would do the furnishing, etc. while Penny was gone. She suggested having an interior decorator assist, but made it clear Leonard would make the decisions.

They agreed they needed three special rooms, a nursery, an entertainment center for games and movies, and an exercise room. Penny quickly assured Leonard he would never have to set foot in it.

The next few days, they made another purchase, trading Leonard's car in on a brand-new BMW.

With time winding down, Penny decided they should have a going away party and suggested going to Vegas.

Raj, who was not due to leave for Texas for another month, arranged to have Missy join them.

Allowing Sheldon to be the Travel Master, they set out in two cars. Sheldon, Amy, Leonard and Penny in the lead car with Howard, Bernadette, Raj and Missy in the second.

They spent the next three days in Vegas, taking in shows and taking side trips to Hoover Dam and a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon. They had arranged separate rooms for Missy and Raj but after the second day, one was never slept in.

Everyone was thrilled for them and all agreed Mary did not need to find out. Sheldon complained about having to keep a secret, but after a "talk" with Missy, he decided he could handle it.

The night before they left for home, Penny took Leonard down to the Casino and led him to a Crap Table. She had always loved to play and wanted to share it with Leonard. He had of course spent time studying the odds and looked forward to doing it with her.

What Penny really hoped for, although she knew it was a long shot, was that they could be involved in a hot streak. She knew how exciting it could get at the table and wanted that for Leonard.

Even though it was Vegas and celebrities were common, they discovered they were still a topic of interest and a crowd gathered around the table where they were playing.

To Penny's disappointment, nothing exciting was happening and she decided to try out some other tables. They were at their fourth table and Penny was about to give it up. She was gratified that it had been fun and Leonard had seemed to enjoy himself. Due to his careful betting they were not down a large amount.

The crowd had followed them from table to table. Penny was about to suggest they leave when it happened. And to Penny's amazement and joy, it happened with Leonard.

She was a little worried about him when it became apparent he was on a streak, not sure how he would react. Suddenly the whole table became excited. Everyone was soon joining in. Hearing the excitement, the crowd around the table grew as everyone rushed to see what was going on.

When the guys arrived, the crowd quickly let them stand by Penny after she told them they were her friends.

Penny was excited to see that Leonard was really enjoying himself and getting into it. The crowd grew more raucous, yelling "Leonard, Leonard, Leonard," every time he rolled. There was also shouts of "Penny, kiss the dice," or "Penny, kiss Leonard for luck."

They cheered even louder when they did kiss.

As the roll continued, Penny knew she should be raising their bets, but was a little superstitious and also didn't want to take any chance of distracting Leonard.

She did however make a lot of bad odds bets, using them as a way to attempt to tip the workers at the table, along with a lot of straight tips.

When it finally came to an end, after an unbelievable ride, the crowd clapped and cheered for Leonard. She and Leonard were embraced by the guys. Missy's eyes were wide and it was apparent she was stunned by the whole thing.

Even with Penny's conservative bets and bad odd bets, they had made up all their losses and made a nice profit. She knew though that a lot of people at the table had made a lot of money. This was demonstrated when the patrons threw chips on the table to thank Leonard for his run.

To be courteous, they remained around the table for a few more shooters but then Penny knew it was time to leave. She was amazed at how turned on she was from what had happened. She realized if they didn't get out of there, she was going to take Leonard right there on the table.

When they gathered up their chips and gave one last big tip, the crowd begged for them to stay. But then someone called out, "Let them go. Can't you see it's time for Leonard to get his real reward."

That brought out laughter and a series of shouts of, "Leonard's going to get laid, Leonard's going to get laid."

At first, it bothered Penny, but she realized that is was really just in fun. Of course there were also a few, "Give her one for me," and "Are you sure you can handle her alone?" but she chose to ignore them.

Carrying their winnings, Leonard headed for the Cashier, but Penny was in no mood to wait. Telling him they could do that in the morning, they headed for the elevator.

Penny almost attacked him in the elevator, but realized there could be security cameras.

But when they got to the room, she immediately led Leonard to the bed and pulling back the covers, sat him down on it. He reached for her but in a voice so husky Leonard hardly recognized it, she said, "No, Leonard, tonight, let me do it all."

She then proceeded to undress him, not allowing him to touch her. When she removed his shorts, she saw he was definitely ready for her.

Resisting the urge to ravish him, she stepped back and did a striptease for him. The dress wasn't really made for it, but Leonard did not seem to mind.

Still resisting him touching her, she pushed him back on the bed. Murmuring how beautiful he was and how much she needed him, she kissed him on the lips and then moved down, her lips following his neck down to his chest.

Leonard was overwhelmed and yearned to touch her, but decided to let her do what she wanted.

She nipped at his nipples and then ran her tongue around them.

She then moved down, still licking and kissing, until she stroked him and then took him in her mouth.

Sucking and licking, she continued until she knew he couldn't hold out much longer. She then rose up and lowered herself onto him, sliding up and down.

Leonard could no longer resist and reached up to caress her breasts. She continued to move, beginning to ride him faster and faster. She screamed a series of, "Oh my God, Leonard," and as they shuddered together and she collapsed onto his chest, a final "YEE HAH."

They stayed that way for a time with her breasts pressed against his chest, exchanging an occasional kiss.

Finally, they broke apart and realizing how sweaty and messy they were, went to take a shower together, soaping each other up.

When they returned, they were gratified there were two beds and changing into night clothes, snuggled into each other and soon fell asleep in the other bed.

The next morning they collected their winnings and joined the others for breakfast. After talking about the night before, they decided to check out of their rooms, do some light gambling and leave about noon.

While they were sitting beside each other at the slots, people would come up and comment about the night before. Penny was amazed how people were so happy for them.

At noon they set out for Pasadena. Sheldon was still in charge, but the first car was now Sheldon, Amy, Raj, and Missy. Missy had continued to be a little nervous about how Sheldon would think about her and Raj, but she was surprised and pleased that he seemed to be okay with it. For her, there were no doubts, she loved him.

The next day, they saw Missy off at the airport. After she left, no one was surprised when Raj announced that when he went to Texas, he was going to ask Missy to marry him. They all told him how happy they were for him.

With the time for Penny to leave quickly approaching, Penny and the others decided to have a girl's night.

Fortified with wine, Penny began, "I don't want to get all serious, but I just need to say how wonderful it has been to get back with Leonard, with all of you. It wouldn't have happened except for you two. You didn't hold back and let me know what I needed to realize about myself, about Leonard and I."

Bernadette looked at Amy and then said, "We appreciate that Penny, but in the end, this was about you and Leonard, about how you feel about each other."

After that, talk turned to the new house. Penny asked them if they could kind of work with Leonard. She did trust him but hoped they could help him at least reflect something that a woman would appreciate.

They agreed and told Penny how thrilled they were about them coming and living there.

The talk then turned to kids. Penny didn't want to tell them about the talk she and Leonard had, but did say that they could especially be sure to help Leonard with the nursery in case they would need it someday.

Penny then had to talk about her new picture and how excited she was about it. She told them she just wished she didn't have to leave so soon, but that it was an opportunity she didn't feel she could pass up. She could tell they wondered how she was doing this so soon after they got back together but they all just let that go.

Although it made Penny a little nervous, they ended by playing a quick game of Truth or Dare.

When Amy answered, "Truth," Penny, who had been worrying about Sheldon's feelings about Raj and Missy, asked, "Is Sheldon going to be all right about Raj and Missy? Was he upset about them sharing a room in Vegas?"

"That is two questions, but I have been surprised and proud of Sheldon. After their talk, I think he realizes how much this means to Missy. He really does love her. As far as what happened in Vegas, I don't think he was thrilled, but has accepted it." She smirked, "He is worried Mary will find out."

When Penny decided on "Truth," Bernadette asked, "Have you ever slept with any of your leading men?"

Penny smiled, "No. I really work to stay professional. But I have slept with some names you would recognize, but am not going to tell you who they are."

Despite Bernadette and Amy persisting, it became apparent Penny meant what she said.

When Penny risked truth again, Amy took a deep breath and asked, "You don't have to answer this but I admit both Bernadette and I have wondered. Why did the miscarriage do what it did? Why wouldn't you let any of us help you? Why did you feel driven to hurt all of us?"

Penny sat back and took a gulp. This is what she had been afraid of. She knew she didn't have to say anything or could just reiterate what she had told them before. But then she realized these were her friends. They had been there for her so many times. She also realized she wanted them to know. She knew it could make them feel less of her, but she trusted them.

"When I realized I had suffered a miscarriage, I was relieved, I was happy my baby was dead."

Bernadette and Amy were stunned. But after a moment, they teared up and they got up and came over and embraced her as they all found themselves crying together.

When they recovered, Bernadette said, "Oh, Penny. Why did you carry that weight by yourself? You should have let us help you."

Penny dabbed at her eyes, "I was just so ashamed. How could anyone think that?"

Amy said quietly, "You were too hard on yourself; it was an immediate reaction. I know that you are a good person and that if that hadn't happened, you would have been a wonderful mother.,"

Bernadette spoke up, "Remember when I discovered I was pregnant again? Remember how I felt? You are not the only woman who has felt that way. And I agree with Amy. If it hadn't happened you would have been thrilled when the baby was born."

Penny was stunned. She knew this wouldn't stop her from the feelings of guilt that sometimes still came to her, but she knew she was much more ready to deal with them. She looked at these two women who meant so much to her.

"I love you guys."

They smiled, "We love you, too."

They broke up soon after that but they all knew as close as they had been, they were much closer now.

The time passed quickly and much too soon, and after making love the previous night and morning, Leonard joined the others at the airport to say their goodbyes. They all stood with Leonard as he watched the plane disappear from sight.

Between his work and getting the house ready for Penny's return, Leonard had little time to dwell on Penny being gone. The nights were the worse but it took solace in that she was doing what she loved and that when she returned they would try to have a baby.

They were not able to keep in contact as much as they liked. It turned out she was in a remote location and was very busy.

Then, after she had been gone three months, he did not hear from her for a week. When she finally called, he could tell something was wrong.

He was relieved when she did not try to keep anything from him.

"Hey Sweetie, I am so sorry I haven't called, but it has been a Zoo. We were already falling behind schedule when we were hit with some unseasonable weather. We lost a whole week of shooting and some of our equipment and sets were destroyed."

She paused, "It is apparent we cannot continue like this."

Leonard was shocked and asked, "They're not planning to cancel the picture, are they?"

"No, we were worried about that, but we have too much in the can." Her voice brightened a little, "We have done good work. We are all proud of what we have got."

After another pause, "The producers, director, and the financial backers are going to have a big meeting and decide how to proceed. The scuttlebutt is that they will make changes so that the rest of the shooting can be done on a set. But nobody knows what that will entail."

She paused again and then went on, "But, it does have a silver lining. While they are having their confab, the rest of us have a few days off. They are putting us up in a hotel in Nairobi. I was hoping you could maybe get away and join me. We would only have a couple days, but it would be wonderful to see you."

Leonard didn't need to think about it. He was so thrilled that Penny was trusting him. He also was not going to pass up a chance to be with her and to be there for her.

"I am sorry about what is going on, but I can't wait to see you."

"Thank you. I have already checked out the flights and when I have confirmed the tickets, I will let you know."

She hesitated, "This has been difficult, but knowing you are there for me has helped me through it. I love you, Leonard Hofstadter."

"I love you, too, Penny."

"Well, I want to get those tickets. Goodbye for now."

"Goodbye, Penny."

Penny waited impatiently at the gate, watching as Leonard's Delta flight arrived. She was thrilled that everything had worked out. It seemed to take forever for him to clear customs but then she saw him and rushed to meet him. She crushed him to her and kissed him passionately as onlookers stared at them.

They finally broke apart and Penny took his hand, telling him she had a car waiting. They got in and on the ride to the Hotel, just sat holding hands, just so happy they were back together if only for a short time.

When they reached their room, they discovered they both wanted to take it slow, to enjoy being with each other. They touched and teased each other, reveling in each other bodies, so grateful for the closeness. When they finally finished, they stayed in bed together for a long time, savoring each other's company.

When they finally arose, they took a shower and went down to the Hotel dining room. Leonard was thrilled when he saw Ben Samuels, one of the technicians from the movie he had worked on. They greeted each other and Ben joined them for a while before leaving them alone.

After supper, they took a walk around the city before returning to the hotel where they made love again.

The next day Leonard was a little hesitant when Penny told him she had arranged for them to go on a one-day safari, but it turned out to be enjoyable and interesting. He decided he was quickly learning to adapt to the fact he was going to have to embrace a much different life. But he also realized he was looking forward to it. As long as he could keep parts of his old one as well.

The day before he was due to leave, the director of the picture, Henry Watkins, came to tell Penny what had been decided. He said he had no objection to Leonard being in on the conversation.

Saying he didn't need anything, he began, "As you know, I have been in meetings with the producers and financial people for the last four days. I am glad to let you know that they never considered not going on with the picture and were impressed by what we have managed to finish."

Both Leonard and Penny took an internal sigh of relieve as Henry continued, "But we all agreed we can not risk having more delays. We are already dangerously over budget. The good news is that by moving to indoor sets and more civilized outdoor areas, we can recoup some of those losses. I have to admit I am disappointed at some of the planned scenes we have to cut, but am satisfied with what has been planned."

"We plan to use facilities right here in Kenya. Even with the time we have lost, we think we can finish on the original time schedule or close to it. That is, about three months from now."

"Well, that's about it. Do either of you have any questions?"

Penny asked, "How soon will we know what has changed?"

Henry smiled, "Actually, I have a first draft here. I don't expect there will be many changes from it."

He reached in his briefcase and took out a script. "This is your copy. The shooting schedule is in there. We plan to start shooting in three days. I'll let you know the exact time of departure either today or tomorrow."

As they got up, Penny spoke up, "Thanks for letting us know what's going on." She hesitated, "It sounds like a reasonable solution." She paused again, "I hope we can finish telling the story."

"I hope so too. I do think everyone wants that to happen. I have to say I am impressed with what they have created."

He started to leave, "I'll get back to you soon." He turned to Leonard, "It's been good to meet you, Doctor Hofstadter."

Leonard answered, "You too."

Telling them goodbye, he left.

After he left, Penny took a deep sigh, "Well, I guess that was about as good as we could expect. I just hope it doesn't dilute the final product too much."

Apologetically, she went on, "I hate to ask, but do you mind if I go over this? I know you will have to leave tomorrow but…"

Leonard smiled, "Are you kidding, I would be shocked if you couldn't wait to see what changes they have made. I'll be fine." He smirked, "I noticed they have a Star Trek movie marathon on view."

Penny rolled her eyes as Leonard laughed.

They spent the next few hours each engrossed in what they were doing, just enjoying being together. Leonard didn't notice when Penny sat up and reread a section of the script more than once.

She went to the end and then sat it down, deciding she needed some wine. Asking if he wanted anything and being told he would take a beer, she got the beverages and sat down beside him, taking a big gulp.

Sensing something was going on, Leonard turned off the TV and asked, "Well, how is it?"

She took another long drink before she turned toward him, "I agree with Henry, they have done a good job…"

"But…"

"They have greatly expanded one scene. Before it was just a quick shot and what happened was explained in dialogue. Now it shows what happened. Not sure how to proceed, she asked, "Have you ever seen _Monster's Ball_ with Halle Barry?"

Surprised, Leonard answered, "No, why?"

"There is a scene in it that is pretty graphic. It shows the two main characters having sex. It doesn't show full frontal nudity but comes awfully close. Of course, they don't really have sex, but it is still quite hot."

"Is that the new scene they have added?"

"It is similar to that," she hesitated, "Except ours is a rape scene."

As Leonard absorbed that, Penny smiled, "Of course, Halle did win an Oscar for that part."

She poured herself another glass of wine and watched Leonard apprehensively.

Leonard wasn't sure what to think. From one point of view, he should not be bothered. He new nudity was often part of movies, that it was done by many famous actresses. He was a little ashamed that it seemed to be bothering him.

After waiting for Leonard, Penny asked, "Are you all right?"

He looked up, "I'm fine. I don't know why this is bothering me. I know it can be a part of the job."

After a few moments, he went on, "Maybe it's not so much the nudity, but that it is a rape scene. That seems kind of exploitative."

Penny took another sip, "I can see what you mean." She paused, "But the rape itself was always a major force in the movie. It sets the stage for much of what happens. Maybe it should be given more screen time, be more overt."

She went on, "Having said that, I would be lying if I didn't admit that I am not completely thrilled with the idea myself. But I think I need to do it."

Leonard knew he was on dangerous ground but felt he needed to ask, "Penny, what if this did bother me a lot? What if I said I didn't want you to do it? Would you do it anyway?"

Penny thought about what he said. She knew she needed to be honest with him. She realized she wasn't sure what she would do. But after thinking for some time, she realized she did know.

Setting down her glass, she took his hands in hers and looked him in the eyes. "This is my profession. I take great pride in what I do. Although I respect your opinion and do not want to do anything to hurt you, this is my decision."

Leonard nodded. He was disappointed in a way but also found he was proud of her. And he had to agree, this was her decision. She had to decide what she was comfortable doing.

He looked back at her, "If you feel this is something you can be comfortable with, that you will take pride in what you have done, then I support you completely."

Penny leaned forward and kissed him softly. Then, tearing up a little, "Thank you, Leonard. That means a lot to me. And I promise you I will never do something that I would believe is demeaning."

Then she smiled, "That is, other than _Serial Apist_ I and II."

Leonard smiled, "You would not be willing to make number III?"

Penny pretended to glare at him, "Only if you would do a sex scene with me. You could be a killer gorilla changing into a man."

Leonard laughed, "Maybe we should rehearse that scene now."

"I don't know. Where could we find gorilla suits this time of day?"

"We'll just have to improvise."

He then stunned her by picking her up in his arms and heading for the bedroom. She was pleased when he managed it without even needing his inhaler.

Leonard arrived back home in time to wish Raj good luck as he took off for Texas. When he and Missy called back with the expected news she had accepted, he joined the others in congratulating them.

Although they wanted to get married as soon as possible, they planned to wait until Penny returned. Bernadette had told them how she had been the one to get them together.

It turned out that Henry had been right and it was almost three months to the day after they met that Penny returned home.

Two months later, with Penny and Leonard firmly established in their new home, they were preparing to join the others in a trip to Texas for the wedding. Before they left, Penny made a trip to the bathroom.

She soon reappeared with a huge smile on her face. She rushed up to a surprised Leonard and gave him a huge hug. She then stepped back and holding up a pregnancy test,

"Congratulations, Doctor Hofstadter, you are going to be a Father!"


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N This is the final chapter. I want to thank all of you who reviewed and thank those in advance who review this one. I hope you have enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. **

**I am now returning these characters to their rightful owners. **

Penny felt her heart threaten to burst when she saw the look of complete joy on Leonard's face. He embraced her and kissed her softly. Then stepped back, "I love you, Penny."

Penny smiled, "I love you, too."

Leonard was surprised but overjoyed when she told him she planned to put her career on hold until the baby's first birthday. She also indicated it could be longer than that.

As much as they were bursting to let everyone know, they decided to wait until after the wedding, not wanting to take anything from Raj and Missy's moment.

In the time between Raj asking her to marry him and Penny returning, Raj had purchased a house near where Howard and Bernadette lived. Although Missy had not be able to take time to go back to Pasadena, he had kept her informed as to what he was doing and she was in on the final decision.

For wedding gifts, everyone had bought something to furnish the house.

The wedding of course was being held in Mary's church.

While she, Missy, and the kids waited at the airport for Raj and the others to arrive, Mary thought of what a remarkable group of people they were. It was strange that, even though the church and her religion was so much a part of her life, she felt so close to a group of people who were hardly religious. My God, there was even a Jew and whatever heathen gods Raj believed in. The only one who was religious was a rosary… Catholic.

Six of them were highly intelligent and the other was a movie star. She sighed, she hoped Missy would find a way to fit in. She loved her with all her heart, but intelligence was not her strong suit.

She did have to admit that Missy and Raj did seem to deeply love each other.

Just then she saw them come through the Gate. As she followed after Missy and the kids who were rushing to meet Raj, someone behind her called out, "Look, it's Penny Lawrence and what's his name."

Mary had to smile as she watched how Penny dealt with the group of people who approached her wanting an autograph. She smiled and waved but kept moving. She smiled more broadly as she saw Leonard and the others try to form a protective shield around her.

When they reached Mary, Penny gave her a quick hug but said, "Maybe we should do our greetings later and get to the limousine before Howard and Sheldon start telling them about their exploits." She then snickered, "On the other hand, that might be fun to watch."

Mary nodded and led the way.

Once safely in the limousine, everyone exchanged greetings. Mary and Missy immediately asked about Penny's latest picture. Leaving out the problems and the rape scene, she told them about how much she had enjoyed being in Africa.

When they got to the hotel and all the gang disembarked including Raj. No one had even thought of suggesting that Raj and Missy have some time alone before the ceremony.

They told Mary they would be at the church that night for the groom's dinner and a rehearsal. Raj the party planner would have preferred something more elaborate but knew this is what Mary wanted.

After everyone had settled in, they all met in Raj's room.

Howard spoke up, "Sheldon, Is it always this hot and humid?"

"Actually, it can get quite chilly in the winter and it could easily be raining. But in general, yes."

Leonard spoke to a quiet Raj, "Relax, Raj, you'll see her tonight. By this time tomorrow, you two will be man and wife."

"I know, but I have really missed her. But you're right, I need to be patient. We both know how great Mary is being about this. I am sure I would not be her first choice for a son-in-law."

Sheldon broke in, "On the contrary, compared to her first husband, you are a real catch."

Raj smiled, "Thank you, Sheldon. But you must admit, you weren't always thrilled about me being with Missy either."

"I wasn't thrilled about any of you."

Amy spoke up, "Penny, Bernadette, why don't the three of us go back to my room?"

Sheldon looked offended, "Why would you do that?"

"It's just that us girls want to talk about the wedding from a woman's point of view. I am sure you would find it boring."

Sheldon nodded, "You are probably right." He turned to the others, "I noticed that the hotel has an Arcade. Perhaps we could spend some time there."

The others quickly agreed and the three women found themselves alone. Amy quickly said, "Now that they are gone, I was thinking we should call up Missy and see if she would like to get together for a while."

Penny smiled, "I think that's a great idea. She probably has some things she would like to talk about."

When they contacted her, Missy quickly agreed but said they would have to come out to the house. There was no way Mary would let her go.

When they arrived they found that Missy had convinced Mary that she should take the boys and get them something appropriate to wear for the wedding.

When they were all comfortable, Penny asked, "Well, Missy, how are you holding up?"

"I have to admit, I can't help worrying a little. I know Raj is a great guy and I love him, but I felt that way once about Matt too and we all know how that turned out."

She hesitated and then went on, "And I just don't know if I will fit in. You guys are all so smart and Penny's a movie star. What if Raj gets bored with me?"

Penny couldn't believe what she was hearing, "Missy, I can assure you, Raj is crazy about you and the kids. Believe me, he is much more worried you will get bored with him."

She went on, "You know, in a way, you are in the same place I once was. When I met Sheldon and Leonard, I was a waitress making minimum wage with my acting career in the dumps."

"When I first started going with Leonard, I was worried about him being too smart for me too."

She smirked, "Then, I went the other way and started to take him for granted. I shudder to think now how easily I could have lost him for good."

She looked at Missy, "Raj loves you and I know you love him and he'll make a great dad."

Missy was surprised but then smiled, "Thank you, Penny. I know you're right."

Amy spoke up, "Okay, enough of that. Why don't you tell us about your matron of honor and when can we meet her?"

"Her name is Natalie Hastings and she has been a friend of mine since High School. She's been married for ten years and has an eight-year-old girl. Stacy will be the flower girl. I think you'll like Natalie; she is a great person. She'll be at the dinner and rehearsal tonight."

She turned to Penny, "But I have to warn you, she maybe be a little strange around you, she's really excited about meeting a movie star."

Penny cringed inside but said, "I'll keep that in mind but I think it will be all right."

Bernadette spoke up, "Where's your brother George? Is he going to be there tonight?

"He'll be there. He is really busy. This is the time of year he has his big sale."

Amy broke in, "How is he doing? Is he seeing anyone?"

"Businesswise, he is doing great. I have tried to set him up but he is really set in his ways. He never stays with anyone for very long."

She turned to Penny, "I know you were the one that threw Raj and I together. I just wanted to thank you."

"You don't need to thank me. I just gave you a little push. The rest was all you and Raj."

Then Missy smirked, "On the other hand, maybe I should be worried about you. I understand you and Raj once spent a night together."

Penny was startled for a moment but seeing Missy's smirk, "Yeah, it was so special I didn't remember it the next morning and he still couldn't even talk to me. And of course, we were both so drunk, we didn't really do anything." Penny didn't know if Missy knew the whole story and did not want to embarrass Raj.

Missy smiled, "I guess I should be flattered. My fiancée once got it on with a movie star."

Bernadette decided it was time to change the subject, "Have you decided what you are going to wear for your wedding night." She smirked, "Assuming you are going to wear something."

Missy smiled, "You have got to see it. Let's go in the bedroom."

They followed her and she pulled something out of a bag and went into the bathroom. When she came out the others just stared. There wasn't much to the outfit and it was sexy as hell.

Penny spoke up, "God, Missy, you look unbelievable. I just hope poor Raj doesn't have a heart attack."

Just then, they heard Mary's voice. "We're back. Wait 'til you see what we got."

Missy panicked and telling them to stall her, raced back into the bathroom.

Penny and the others stalled Mary by having her show them what she had bought until Missy joined them. They then took their leave and returned to the hotel.

Missy and Raj had both agreed with Mary to keep it a small wedding. Raj had picked Howard as his best man while Missy had Natalie as her Matron of honor.

Everyone was surprised but pleased that Missy had asked both her brothers to escort her down the aisle.

After the wedding, they had a reception at the church.

Missy and Raj spent their wedding night at the Hotel and Missy confided to the others that she had not worn her outfit very long.

Raj had taken off a lot of time traveling to Texas and working on getting the house ready so he had to get back to work. They decided they would take a honeymoon later.

When everyone, including Mary, got together before leaving for the airport, Leonard and Penny told them the big news about them having a baby. Penny was overwhelmed by the excitement and joy that everyone showed. They also made sure to have Missy join in the celebration and the girls' group hug.

Penny shocked them all when she told them of her plans to take a least two years off from her career, until the baby's first birthday.

The next three months passed quickly with everyone getting settled in. Missy decided she would be a stay at home mom at least for the foreseeable future. She and Raj were relieved when Roger and Samuel had no troubles with their new home or their new school.

Penny was relieved when she found how much she enjoyed being at home. Of course, a lot of that was due to how happy Leonard was and how much he enjoyed pampering her.

When they had returned home, Penny finally made a call she had been putting off. She knew Sally was not going to be happy with her decision.

"Hey, Sally, this is Penny."

"Hi, Penny. I just want you to know. I got a call from David Forster. He said everyone was thrilled with how your picture turned out. Have you looked at any of the other scripts? I think we got a shot at you getting top dollar for another picture."

Penny took a deep breath, "That's what I want to talk to you about. I have great news; I am going to have a baby."

There was a long silence, "Congratulations, Penny." Another hesitation, "I have to admit, I wish you could have waited, but I still think we can put something together later in the year."

"I have decided that I am not going to hurry back. I plan to take off until the baby is at least a year old, maybe longer."

"I'm sorry, Penny, but as your agent I need to say I think you are making a big mistake. I am sure once the baby is born, we can find something that you could work with. Two years is just too long to sit out. Besides, have you forgotten that you owe Sam Towers a pair of movies. I am pretty sure he will not be pleased."

Penny took a deep breath and fought to control herself. She knew that Sally was probably right and was looking out for her interests. Calming herself down, "Sally, I know you are trying to look out for me, but I am not going to change my mind. If it turns out to hurt my career, that is just too bad. As for Towers, he will just have to wait. If he has a problem with that; well, that's what those expensive lawyers are for." She hesitated, "I will understand if you want to let me go, but my mind is made up."

Sally was shocked. She wanted to tell Penny to go to hell, but they really had raved about her last performance. She was likely to be nominated for another Oscar. She really didn't want to lose her as a client. Taking a deep breath, "I never considered that. I just wanted to let you know what I felt. I will of course honor your wishes. I don't think we should tell anyone that though. I will just tell them you are not interested for now." She hesitated again, "I really am happy for you, Penny."

"Thanks, Sally. I know you are only looking out for my best interests. When I am ready to return or should change my mind, I will let you know."

"I appreciate that Penny. Goodbye."

"Goodbye, Sally."

The next day Penny got a call from Warren Fredericks. He told her that the final name of the movie was _A Dangerous Collision_ and that the Premier would be at a theater in Los Angeles in a week. He also said he had been thrilled to hear about her and Leonard getting back together and hoped they both could attend.

Leonard was actually excited and looked forward to seeing Warren and the others again. So, a week later Penny and Leonard walked down the Red Carpet. Although she was not showing much, the dress she purposely wore did show her baby bump because she was proud to be pregnant.

The movie received a good response and although Penny still wasn't too thrilled to see herself, she did enjoy it seeing it with Leonard.

Although everything continued to go well, Penny could not help feeling some fear. But this time she knew she and Leonard would be there for each other, whatever would happen.

As it turned out, the baby was one week late. Penny and Leonard became the proud parents of a little girl they named Margie Sue Hofstadter. Penny and Leonard knew that whatever success they may have, nothing would match the joy they felt when Penny held her for the first time.

Amy and Sheldon were thrilled when they were asked to be Margie's Godparents.

Leonard came home from work. When he entered the living room, he saw Penny nursing Margie. Each time he saw them he was overwhelmed with love and joy. Never had he imagined as he grew up that something so wonderful would happen to him.

Margie was three months old when the Oscar nominations came out. Penny's big movie release had been held back because they did not want to release it too close to the nominations.

None of the cast of _A Dangerous Collision_ were nominated but Leonard and Penny were thrilled when it did receive a nomination for Special Effects. That was nothing compared to the feelings they had when they found out Leonard's name was included in the group being considered for the award. Ben Samuels and the others had wanted his contribution to be recognized.

So, Penny and Leonard found themselves in the audience at the Oscars. Leonard couldn't conceive that he would win but was determined to enjoy the experience. Penny on the other hand, was as nervous as she had been in her whole life. She wanted Leonard to win so bad.

When the time came, she gripped his hand and said a small prayer to herself.

"The Oscar for Special Effects goes to Ben Samuels, Harry Porter, and Dr. Leonard Hofstadter…" The presenter was interrupted by a huge shriek and everyone looked at Penny, who could care less. He smiled and continued, "For _A Dangerous Collision_."

Penny pulled up a stunned Leonard and gave him a passionate kiss. Still in shock, Leonard made his way to the stage where Ben and Harry were smiling broadly.

They let him go last and he had finally recovered enough to say, "To say I am shocked would be an understatement. I want to thank Ben and Harry for honoring me by adding my name. They are the real artists."

"I want to thank Warren Fredericks who gave me the opportunity to work on a movie."

He then smiled broadly, "And I want to say to my loving wife Penny." He held up the Oscar, "Now I have one too."

He received a huge laugh and applause. When he got backstage, he thanked Ben and Harry again, but they just smiled and told him he deserved it. They would not have done what they did without him.

Then Penny was there. She put her arms around her and kissed him softly. "I am so proud of you. You really are amazing." Then she smirked, "But don't ever think this is equal to an Oscar for best Actress."

Leonard looked at it, "I don't know, looks the same to me."

Ben and Harry then joined them as Penny congratulated them as well. They spent the rest of the night traveling from party to party. Penny continued to marvel at how far Leonard had come. But she still was glad he was still the Leonard Hofstadter she had come to love.

When Margie was fifteen months old, Penny decided she needed to start fulfilling her promise to the producer of the movie she had dropped out of. She contacted Sally but made it clear she would only work on a movie shot mostly in California, preferably in Los Angeles.

It turned out that her last movie, _A Woman's Journey._ had just come out to rave reviews, especially for her performance. That gave her leverage and they agreed to her terms. It took four months to shoot but she was able to spend a lot of nights at home.

Leonard and Penny attended the Premier. Leonard was surprised that although it was difficult for him to watch, the rape scene was powerful and moving.

After she finished the movie, she and Leonard were sitting in the living room, having just put Margie down for the night. Penny moved over and sat next to him on the couch, intertwining her hands with his.

She looked into his eyes, "Now that the movie is out of the way, I was thinking. Maybe it would be a good time for baby number two."

Leonard stared at her and then smiled fondly, "Are you sure? I think it is a wonderful idea but I don't want you to think…"

She leaned forward and kissed him softly, "Shh. Leonard Hofstadter, I want you to knock me up."

His eyes widened and then he smiled broadly, "How can I resist when you speak so eloquently."

She smiled, "So, are you going to screw me or not?"

"Oh, I definitely am."

Eight months later, when Penny was four months pregnant, she was nominated for best actress for her role in _A Woman's Journey._

So once again they found themselves at the Oscars. This time it was Leonard who wanted it so much for Penny.

"The Oscar for Best Actress goes to Penny Lawrence for her role in _A Woman's Journey._

Leonard gave her a passionate kiss and clapped wildly as she made her way to the stage.

Taking a deep breath, "I do want to thank the Academy for honoring me with their selection. I want to thank Morton Heddings for giving me the chance and to David Browning whose wonderful book was the inspiration for the movie."

"But as much as this Oscar means to me, I still reserve my true thanks for the loves of my life, my husband, Dr. Leonard Hofstadter and my daughter Margie." Touching her belly, she smiled fondly, "And this one too."

Then she smiled broadly, "Well, Leonard, now I have two!"

Mercy Ann Hofstadter was born on Sheldon's birthday. He told them that would bode well for her future.

When Mercy was two years old, Penny made her last picture in a starring role, fulfilling her agreement. After that she was very selective and did parts that she felt were challenging and interesting. They consisted mostly of character roles. She was proud she retained her reputation as a true professional.

When Margie was eight years old, Dr. Leonard Hofstadter won the Nobel Prize for Physics. The entire group and their children were there to see it.

He thus became the only the third person to ever win both an Oscar and a Nobel Prize. Penny still maintained that two best actress Oscars were more impressive.

On Penny's fiftieth birthday the women all got together after the party. After all being fortified with the obligatory wine, Bernadette began, "Penny, do you ever regret giving up your movie career?"

"Well, actually, I didn't completely give it up. Although I am picky about the roles I accept, I have kept reasonably involved." She hesitated and went on, "If you mean, do I miss being a star and all that went with it, No. These character roles are actually just as much or more satisfying and I would never change all the time I got to spend with Leonard and the kids."

Missy spoke up, "Well, I do have to say you still look great. You still have a great figure. I don't know how you do it." Although Missy was still attractive, she had put on a little weight.

Penny smiled, "It takes a lot more work than it used to. But I guess I am lucky, I have always enjoyed doing Yoga and exercise." She smirked, "And all the sex with Leonard doesn't hurt."

Amy broke in, "Are you two ever going to let up? You're not teenagers."

Penny smiled broader, "God, I hope not." Even as she said it, she thought how it had always been between them, Hell, she was getting horny just thinking about it.

Deciding to change the subject, Penny turned to Missy, "Have you heard from Roger lately? How's college going?"

"He called yesterday. Sounds like things are going good." She took a sip, "It sounds like he and Adele are getting serious."

Bernadette smiled, "Better be careful, you'll be a grandma before you know it."

Missy sighed, "I know. It doesn't seem so long ago when he was just starting school."

Amy added, "They grow up so fast. It's hard to believe Steven is fifteen."

Penny asked, "Are you guys still glad you didn't let him follow in Sheldon's footsteps? That you didn't have him jump grades and go off to college when he was twelve?"

"I think even Sheldon agrees now that it was best to let him stay with kids his own age. He knows how difficult it was for him growing up like he did."

Missy turned to Bernadette, "Speaking of college, has Halley decided where she is going to apply to?"

"She is still waiting. She knows Howard wants her to go to MIT but she is not sure she wants to be an engineer. I told her that it was her decision and that we both would support whatever choice she made, but she still hates to disappoint him."

She went on, "I just wish that was the problem with Michael. The way he is going, he'll probably have to marry someone before he even graduates. That boy is just plain girl crazy."

Penny smiled, "You can't blame them. He is about the hottest teenager I ever saw."

Bernadette sighed, "I agree but the problem is he knows it too." She smirked, "Howie still gives me a hard time. I know he is kidding but sometimes I think he really wonders if Michael is his."

She went on, "The last time he brought it up, I wanted to tell him that I ran into George Clooney at the grocery store and it just happened."

The others laughed and Amy said, "You didn't, did you?"

They laughed again and Bernadette said ruefully, "No, he's Howard's."

Just then they were interrupted by Margie, who came through the door. Penny was surprised, was it that late already?"

"Hi, Honey, how was school?"

"It was okay. Can I go over to Patti's for a while?"

"I guess. But be sure you're back by five-thirty. Your Dad is going to pick up Mercy and bring pizza home."

"Okay."

Not even acknowledging the others, she turned a little awkwardly and headed back out the door.

It was apparent that Margie Hofstadter would mature into a beautiful young woman but now she was all gangly and awkward. Her large glasses made her look a little like an owl.

Bernadette smiled, "Someday that girl is going to break a lot of men's hearts."

Penny agreed but smiled ruefully, "But right now she's more likely to fall down and break a bone."

Amy asked, "How is Mercy doing with her piano lessons?"

"She's doing great. Her teacher says she has real potential if she stays at it. She still seems to really enjoy it but who knows if that will last."

They talked for a while and then broke up. Penny sat sipping her wine, thinking of that girl from Nebraska who had come to California with her dreams of Hollywood and success. Was it really over thirty years ago? Where had the time gone?

Those thoughts were driven from her mind as Leonard and Mercy came through the door with Margie just behind them.

As Mercy excitedly told her about her lesson, Penny looked into the eyes of the man she loved.

The four couples remained close for the rest of their lives.

None of the group's children ever won a Nobel or an Oscar, but they married people who loved them and like their parents, lived happily ever after.

**A/N Well, that's it. I hope the ending wasn't disappointing. I want to thank all of you who stayed with me. I am so humbled by your honoring me with your reading. FYI – the other two people who won both and Oscar and a Nobel were George Bernard Shaw and Bob Dylan. **


End file.
